The JK

2006-06-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Well, summer's really pretty uneventful for me. There's lots that I told myself I would do, but I'm not doing it. I'm procrastinating something huge, and I'm gonna be sorry come fall. As I've mentioned before, I'm supposed to be reading roughly a book a day. I'm averaging a book every three or four days. I keep telling myself I'm going to get up at 5AM and read until JD wakes up. That sounds like a really great idea until 5AM.

I've almost made a Mavericks post several times since the end of the finals, but I've really just been too depressed about the whole debacle to think about it. I haven't read the sports page, listened to sports radio, or watched Sportscenter since Monday. Come to think of it, this is the first time I can remember a Texas sports team getting to the Finals and losing (Cowboys 92,93,95; Rockets 94,95; Spurs x 3; Stars '00 (even though hockey doesn't count)). I invested so much time and and enthusiasm in the Mavericks, so it's hard to see them crumble like that. Oh well, next year. I hope they get rid of Stackhouse.

John David and I have been doing some intense playing this morning. We went for a walk with JD in the stroller, then we went for the same walk with JD out of the stroller. We rode his tricycle half way down the side walk, then he got tired of it. We played with Play-Doh in his room, built a farm with Lincoln Logs, and had a shaving cream fight on the porch. Now he's taking a nap. This is a little more than we usually do, but it's becoming increasingly important to make sure John David is actively (and verbally) engaged. So, that means fewer movies (even though he love's them). When he does watch movies, we're going to watch ones that are more educational and age appropriate (like Dora the Explorer rather than Toy Story. He's really too young for Pixar, I think. He doesn't really engage plots or dialogue that well. Or at least it hasn't manifested in improved speech).

Lately, it's come to our attention that JD might be a little behind with his verbal development. Although he knows a lot of words, and can use some sentences, he rarely makes speech his first options for getting what he wants. He will yell, points and say, "that," or try to express himself physically in various ways. When he uses speech, it will often be just one word with a gesture. He's always been strong and capable of maneuvering just about anything he put his mind to, whether on the playground or at home. But, this capability seems to have become a crutch that allowed him to be less dependent on language to get what he needs. I have always thought that the language would just come along, but now it's time to start making a more consistent effort to make him use his language.

So, verbal engagement has lately been at the center of all my interaction with JD. When we walked this morning, we stopped to talk about the flowers, count them, and notice their yellow color. We pointed out birds, the sky, trees, big trucks, and fast and slow paces. In the house, we go about a pretty normal routine (sans TV), but I'm being a lot more assertive and deliberate about language. I'm making JD tell me what he wants in words. I'm constantly asking him to identify pictures and letters, and things around the house. JD does seem little shocked--a bit out of his comfort zone-- but that's good. I want to reacquaint him with his surroundings (his toys, our apartment, his room, etc) in a way that is not watered down by television in the background or by his overly-aggressive physical expression (he likes to wrestle). I don't know if this is the answer, but it we're going to try to shake things up in this way for a while.

2006-06-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

John David and I went to see Cars this morning. We've been planning to go for a long time, but as June 9th drew closer, I started to have my doubts about whether this was the right time to take JD to a movie. It's hard to gauge if he's too young to endure all the environmental stimulation of a cinema experience. Although he loves watching movies (especially Pixar), he can usually flop around, play with toys, talk to us, etc. while he's watching. And, at home, we don't have a surround-sound set up. To the contrary, the volume's usually pretty low. Movie's at home don't overload his senses because he's pretty much in control (He could operate the DVD player by the time he was about 15 month. It was really pretty ridiculous.)

As I mentioned before, we tried out the movie thing with Curious George on a whim one afternoon several months ago, and JD just couldn't focus on the movie. Instead he wanted to play in the chairs and on the stairs, so we left after about 20 minutes. But, we thought Cars could be different because he knows all about it. We've been watching previews for over a year, and you could go out in public without seeing some sort of advertisment, which JD always points out. Still, I knew watching the whole movie would be tough, and, this morning, I had about decided to wait a couple months when JD came up to me and said "Cars?" At that point, I knew that he knew that today was the day. So we gave it shot.

We stopped by Krispy Kreme (or "Nummy") on the way. I got JD four donut holes, and handed the little bag back to him in his carseat. Normally, he consumes them ravenously. Today, however, he very deliberately saved them, clutching the little Krispy Bag close to him with both hands. He wanted to take them to the movie, which wasn't a bad idea at all.

The movie experience was definitely better than Curious George. For the first 15 minutes he watched in a trance. Then, when he started getting restless, I reminded him about his nummies. That bought another 15 minutes. We sat on a short row, so it was okay for him to try out all the seats. He went up and down the aisle for a while, taking peeks at the movie while he moved from chair to chair. Soon enough, however, he'd had it. Overstimulation. He was ready to go. With the help of some Skittles and the appearance of Mater (the animated Tow Truck played by Larry the Cable Guy), we stayed for another ten minutes or so. But, then we left.

John David behaved pretty well this time. He's still just too little for the Movie Theater experience. I wasn't disappointed when we left. JD did pretty good, all things considered. He got a good dose of a movie that he and I had both been anticipating for quite some time. He was gratified just to see the characters he recognized. He's not all that into that ancillary "plot" crap.

We'll get Cars when it comes out on DVD, and I'm sure JD will watch it many, many times. This morning, we set our sites on a new Pixar movie, Ratatouille, which will come out next summer. He'll be four, and, hopefully, ready for the movie theatre experience.

After our 45 minutes at Cars, we came home, went swimming, at chicken, and JD went to sleep, while I watched a few episodes of Six Feet Under. (This fifth season is pretty emotional. We'll probably finish the whole series tonight! We only have two or three episodes left. I'm gonna miss the Fisher's and company. Well, everyone except Ruth.)

2006-06-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else remember the Freedom Rock commercial from the 80's? It's definitely one of my favorite commercials of all time. Rachel and I had a (non) Freedom Rock moment this morning when she told me to turn my music down.

Anyway, if you don't remember the commercial, here's the gist of Freedom Rock from the urban dictionary:

Guitar-heavy American rock music of the 1970s. The phrase originated in 1987: "Freedom Rock" was the title of a sold-only-on-TV music compilation. The memorably cheezy commercial featured two aging Cheech and Chong-type hippies sitting at the back of their Tour van; as I recall it, Hippy #1 hears what Hippy #2 is playing on his radio and asks, "Hey, man, is that freedom rock?" Hippy #2, says, "Yeah, man!" and Hippy #1 enthusiastically replies, "Well, turn it up, man!"

What made the commercial even better was that it was extremely low-budget. It was made in that glorious time of abundant Time-Life music compilation offers, all for the low price of $19.95. I think you could even get Freedom Rock on vinyl, which just might be the purest way to enjoy something like Freedom Rock. And, I'm sure many bought it on vinyl.

If you don't know WTF vinyl is, don't feel bad, I didn't either until '96 when I was working at Hasting's in Abilene and someone called to ask if we had the Fugee's on Vinyl. I was working music, so they forwarded the phone call to me. I had no idea what the caller meant. All I knew was that vinyl was some sort of upholstery.
"Vinyl?" asked the caller.

"Yeah, vinyl"

"the Fugee's? the hip-hop group?"

"that's the one."

[long pause, waiting for caller to perceive my confusion and clarify]

"what do you mean by vinyl?" I finally asked a bit annoyed.

"A RECORD!! YOU KNOW THAT BIG BLACK ROUND THING THAT SPINS ON A RECORD PLAYER?"

By this time, the caller was almost angry with me for not knowing that vinyl=record. I probably should have known that, and it's likely that anyone reading this might reasonably call me an idiot. Nevertheless, in my first 19 years on earth, I had never heard the term. But, I bet most connoisseurs of Freedom Rock had.

In the subsequent 10 years, I've developed a great appreciation for the guy who asks for contemporary music on vinyl, just like my appreciation for the cheesy freedom rock commercial has. In fact, when I go into music stores, I'm often tempted to be that guy.

In the last year or so, Rachel and I have had several fun moments remembering something obscure TV moment from childhood. Most of the time we make timely references to Family Ties or The Cosby Show. A few months ago, I wrote a music review (which blogger erased in the publishing process) called "Jammin' on the One!" I'm sure most of you remember that this phrase is taken from the Cosby show episode where they are meet Stevie Wonder and create a mix that they all participate in. Rachel, create a post several months ago entitled "There was a Kangaroo in my Living Room." Anyone remember that episode of Family Ties? We've found that phrase useful in multiple life situations.

So, if anyone still reads this blog, I'd like to know some of you favorite 80's/early 90's TV memories. (Let's take pride in growing old!) Extra points are given for obscurity (You can't talk about "Where's the beef!"). Either leave a comment or, even better, create a post on your own blog. I guess this is kind of like one of those games where we tag each other. But I'm not tagging anyone. I've just enjoyed writing this post, and thought it might be fun for other people too.

2006-06-06T12:29:00.000-07:00

(This is a procrastination post)

So, I'm supposed to be reading a book a day this summer. It's pretty insane, but it's what I need to do if I'm going to make the most of my summer. I realize I can't read closely or completely at this pace, but that's okay. I need to understand arguments and get the gist of about 70 important books/articles that I didn't cover in coursework. When I told my parents that I was just reading "for the argument," my mom said that I oughta be pretty good at that since all I've ever done is argue with her. She doesn't get it.

It's hard to read at this pace. I've never been a quick reader, partly by choice and partly by nature. As an English major, I've always had a tendency to chew on language and read closely, which doesn't lend itself well to speed-reading. Nevertheless, if I concentrate, I can go pretty fast. I learned this mostly by teaching speedreading at Sylvan back in ought-3. I was thrown into teaching this course, and I read out of a workbook to a group of people who had paid an enormous sum of money to learn the speed-reading secrets. As is typical with Sylvan, they had paid a ridiculous amount of money for information and strategies that can be bought at Barnes & Noble for $14.95. Nevertheless, many of those strategies really work. It's amazing how quickly your eye can move and your mind can process if you force yourself to scan the words more quickly. Most readers sub-vocalize, or say the words in their mind, which is a speed bump to efficient reading. But, it's a comfort zone that's hard to break out of, for me at least.

Anyway, so far, I haven't successfully balanced domesticity and uber-reading. I'm not reading for enough hours in the day, and I'm getting wrapped up in the book I'm reading. I gotta find my system.

It's hard to entertain the buddy all day everyday, too, especially since the bastards that run this apartment complex shut down our swimming pool. Nothing burns buddy-energy like swimming. If he doesn't swim, he could probably stay up for 48 hours straight!

On Friday, we're off to see the much anticipated Cars, the new Pixar movie. We've been waiting at least a year for this one, as it's been in previews at least that long. I don't know if this movie experience will be successful. Of course, we had to leave after 30 minutes of Curious George--I mean, seriously, any movie pails in comparison to lighted stairs and several hundred chairs to try out. When you think about it, the cinema is a pretty ridiculous venue for film. But we're going to give it a try anyway. Pixar's out thang. I'm thinking a year of previews and a couple hundred dollars in merchandise has bought at least 45 minutes. That's the over-under, I thinking--anyone want to place a bet?

2006-05-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I got back from the Rhetoric Society of America conference in Memphis. All in all, it was a good trip, but not as good as I had hoped. For all practical purposes, this was my first real conference. I had gone to a regional Christianity and Literature conference in 2001 when I was a M.A. student, but I was clueless, and I read a horrible paper. Pretty embarassing when I think about it now. Anyway, since Rachel didn't get back from Boston until Friday, I left for RSA on Saturday, even though the conference started on Monday. That was okay with me, but there were some pretty good looking panels that I would have liked to see on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning.

I got to Memphis midday Saturday, but my luggage didn't. I hadn't even packed a change of clothes or a toothbrush in my carry-on. After filing a report with the airline, I decided to go to my hotel to let them know my luggage would be delivered and, maybe, to check in, even though I knew the check-in time was 3PM. That trip cost me 20 bucks and was totally futile. They wouldn't let me check in early, and my luggage didn't get there until 11PM anyway.

So, after the 20 something dollar cab ride to my hotel, I took a thirty something dollar ride to the Peabody, the conference hotel. I went to one panel, met up with some friends, and went to a tour and lecture at the National Civil Rights Museum. The Museum was definitely the highlight of the trip. If you're ever in Memphis, don't miss it. It's sobering and beautiful.

After the Museum, I made my way back to the Peabody and met up with some more friends. We sat in the lobby and talked. I drank Pinot Noir and tried my first Mint Julep.

As it turned out, the carpool group from school was staying near my hotel, so I was able to ride with them for the rest of the weekend. Saved me at least 200 buck in cab fare. I was already low on cash, and I hadn't anticipated such steep transportation costs, so this was a life saver.

When I got back to my hotel, my bag still hadn't been delivered by the airline, so I was pretty worried. But, 45 minutes later, I got a call from the front desk that my bag was there. I had been pretty nervous all day long, and getting my bag was a pretty big relief.

In the craziness of the day, I realized that I hadn't eaten lunch or dinner, and it all hit me at about 11PM. Luckily IHOP was next door, home of the Big Bacon Omelet. So, I consumed a couple thousand calories right before bed. There's never a bad time for bacon.

Sunday was okay, but I was disappointed in most of the panels. Most seemed half-assed, esoteric, just uninteresting. But, some were good.

Sunday night we ate at B.B. King's, which was a pretty good place, with a great blues band playing, but the food wasn't really that good. If that's Memphis Barbeque, said barbeque is overrated. But I don't think that's the case. I think we just got some bad advice.

Monday was the day of my panel. I was to present at 8AM. Well, that's what time the panel started--I spoke 3rd out of 4. As it turns out, many people went home Sunday night and many more people partied Sunday night. Not good for 8 o'clock panel attendence. We had two audience members. So, counting my panel members and chair, I was reading to an audience of six. Kinda disappointing because I liked my paper. I've actually worked on it off and on for a year.

To add insult to injury, I had to cut my presentation short because one or both of the first two speakers went long, and the chair wasn't paying attention to time until my presentation. So, out of ten pages, I read six, and then summarized and cut to the conclusion. It's not that big of deal really, but I think my discussion in the last few pages was important to my project, and I would have like to read it--or at least to discuss it in more detail.

After the panel, I had planned on either going to some more panels that looked interesting or to explore Memphis. But, I decided I was to tired to enthusiastic about academic stuff. Everything had built up to my presentation, and after I came down, I was done.

I had forty-one dollars left, and eight hours until my flight. Not really enough money to shop or go to Graceland ($35), and not enough brain-power for more panels. That's when I decided F-it: I'm going home. I took the shuttle to the airport and flew standby, and got home about 2PM.

I'm glad I went to the conference, and it really didn't suck that much. In 2008, RSA will be in Seattle. I'll definitely go. Next year, 4C's (the biggest conference in Rhet/Comp--stands for Conference on College Composition and Communication) is in New York, and I'm definitely going there, too.

Now that RSA is over, the real work of summer starts--reading, reading, reading, while taking care of a three year old (JD turns three tomorrow! It's gone by fast!).

2006-05-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to reading Everything Bad is Good for you by Steven Johnson. I really found this book useful for two reasons. One, it's one of the few non-academic books on my new media exam list. But, also because Johnson pursues several questions that are really relevant to the research I'll be doing next year in TCU's new New Media Writing Studio (where I'll be working instead of teaching first or second year comp). Johnson's argument--that video games, television, internet, and film are sources of intellectual stimulation that are perpetually (and empirically) making us smarter people--is a bit shocking. In fact, last year, I sat down in a Barnes and Noble and looked at the book, but after reading the blurb on the back and part of the intro, I called bullshit (as they say in academic circles). Over the last year, however, I kept thinking about the baffling claims that this book unapologetically makes from the outset. I kept wondering if there was anything there. So, when the semester ended, I went and bought it. And I'm glad I did. It was entertaining and intellectual read, and my hesitancy to accept Johnson's ideas is kind of his point. Certain assumptions about about literacy and pop culture (TV and videogames particularly) operate so strongly in our society, giving us a knee-jerk reaction that amounts to reading=good and tv/video games/etc=bad. These assumptions are generally unfounded, and Johnson does a great job showing this. If you watch TV, play video games, blog or just enjoy following pop culture, this is a great (and quick) read.

Summer Time

2006-05-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

The semester is now over and it's on to the next thing. I've almost completely abandoned this blog the last six months. In a lot of ways, I seem to have lost my blogging-voice. But, the biggest reason for the lack of activity was time. I was so overcommitted that I was never able to do more take care of the things that had to completed that day, which left little time for blogging. (But, for the record, I did two high-quality posts that were erased when I hit published. After the second time, I learned that you can't begin a post on Monday and minimize it until you finish and publish on Wednesday.) Hopefully, I resurrect this thing, though. We'll see how it goes.

This summer, I've got a lot to do besides blogging. Because I finished my coursework this semester, I have to prepare for my comprehensive exams, which I'll take in late-October/early-November if everything goes as planned. The exam process is a ridiculous exercise in academic hazing, meant to test the limits of human cognition, I think. Basically, after course work, you designate three areas to specialize in and to test in. Then, you work with a faculty member (one for each exam) to develop a "list" that determines the parameters of your exam. Each list is equivalent to thirty books (and five articles equals one book).

So, along with everything else that finishing up a semester entails, I had to get these list together, which was really difficult. Not only did I have to write my last two seminar papers, but I also did web design and layout work for the journal Composition Studies and finished up grading and teaching in my two classes (Intermediate comp and Intro to Lit). In many ways it was a frustrating semester because it seemed like time constraints caused me to everything half-assed.

But anyway, I'll be reading all summer long--juggling that with taking care of John David. That means, I need to discipline myself to read early mornings, late nights, and whenever else I get a chance. I'm reading for exams in Modern Rhetoric, Literacy Studies & Historiography, and New Media Writing/Computers and Composition.

My plan is to podcast my way through this studying process. As I read a book, I convert my notes to mp3 form, so I can organize and pound this stuff into my brain. At the same time, I'll be learning the ins and outs of Audacity, which seems like a pretty cool program.

I'm also trying to get back into my old reading blogs/exploring the web mode that I was in last summer. That's somethings that's been sacrificed lately, to my chagrin. Just this morning I read Cuban's blog for the first time in many months. He's on a role.

2006-03-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

I plan to post soon. I've been so busy lately that this blog has been neglected. But, I certainly don't intend to abandon it. So, bear with me for a little longer, and I'll make a quality post soon (hopefully, this weekend).

What's this? Two posts inside three weeks?

2006-02-08T10:38:00.000-08:00

As I tried to say in my last post, I'm really enjoying my teaching this semester. It seems at this point that I have two really great classes. What makes a class great? Well, (since you ask) I think there are a few factors that create the chemistry of a good class. Now, given, I haven't got this completely figured out. I do know, however, that much of the classroom chemistry depends on the pedagogy--how you carry yourself as a teacher and how you consistently communicate your expectations. I'm still working on this. I've found that I have some personality characteristics that enable good classrooms and some hinder classroom. As I gain experience, I try to accentuate the enablers and mitigate the hindrances. For example, I'm a pretty laid back person. In fact, I don't care about much. This is true on a macro as well as micro level. Being such, I'm not a details person in the least (in any aspect of life). (And, I don't ever multi-task. Not sure how that's relevant, but I wanted to work it in.) However, I've found that such a laid back attitude is quite detrimental to any classroom that seeks to be worth a damn. And, I do seek to be worth at least a damn, maybe a damn and a half. So, each semester, I employ a nazi (or some other kind of fascist) to write my syllabus in a way that makes specific rules, deadlines, and ultimatums that I stick to. Come hell or high water, it's the law, and my students know this from the first day. My syllabus balances me; it's specific where I'm vague; it's legalistic when I'm "whatever"; it's an asshole, while I'm a nice guy. Such a "tough guy" syllabus can anticipate and avoid a whole mess of really stupid problems. (And, yes, in general, "stupid problems" are those problems had by "stupid people"--the same people who ask the "stupid questions." Anyone who says there's no such thing as a stupid question has, most likely, never taught.)

But, although much of the classroom dynamic depends on me and what I bring to the table in terms of expectations and tone-setting, much also depends on the crap shoot--the students who sit before you and their attitudes and assumptions and willingness. I seem to have lucked out this semester. I teach one class at TCC and one at TCU. The classes are very different, but both good. Neither class acts as if they are in some sort of hostage situation; so far, they've been having willing and enthusiatic discussions, and, sometimes, they even bring some original ideas ot the table. I've been impressed. It's affirming (even if they are feigning interest and humoring me. Playing my game because it's my ball.) And, it makes it easier to prepare each day.

It is, truly, a strange thing to wake up one day and find yourself in front of classroom trying to figure out what do or what works. (Especially when you were the asshole in high school and early colllege that slept in class, and refused to even feign interest.)

I'll talk more about my classes later, but, for now, I'm done blogging, and I haven't even told the story that I sat down to tell. Oh well, maybe that's a good thing. I've really had writer's block when it comes to this blog. So, I'll save some.

I got nothin'

2006-02-01T20:52:00.000-08:00

Just for the fricken record: I made a nice long post last night--it was so long that it took a few sittings to finish. (I even told an inspirational story.) However, by the time I hit publish, blogger had signed me out, so instead of publishing it went to the sign in screen and, poof, my post was gone! Bastards. Then, I gave everyone in earshot a good cussin' and went to bed.

On your mark, get set . . .

2006-01-12T13:54:00.000-08:00

As this week draws to a close, so does my Christmas break. I'm very thankful to have had such a restful hiatus from the academic world, and I have mixed emotions about starting up again. While I do have the sense of anticipation/anxiety that I always have at the beginning of semesters, I'm also nervous about having over-committed myself. Although I'm only teaching two classes this semester, I expect the classes I take to be more demanding. Also, I'm now working for the journal Composition Studies as the Design/Layout editor. I'm excited about this new opportunity, but right now, I'm struggling to learn a new software, and I'm already nervous about meeting deadlines.

In a way, this is my last semester of school. Although I will not graduate in May, I will be finished with my coursework. After coursework, the next step is to pass comprehensive exams. This semester, one of my major tasks will be to lay the groundwork for these exams, which means compiling long reading lists in three different general areas. Over the summer, I'll do nothing but study after I present at the Rhetoric Society of America conference in Memphis. In the fall (Octoberish, I'm thinking), I'll take the exams over an eight day period. If I pass, I'll be over the second major hump, and on to the dissertation. So, basically, I won't stop to breathe again (for this long, at least), for a couple years.

So, as things start revving up, I'm feeling like my anxiety is tending to overwhelm my excitment. I'm leaving the safety of the Christmas break and entering back into a world that is intellectually, physically and emotionally taxing, but this time with new responsibilities and challenges on the horizon. This is not a complaint so much as it is an acknowledgment of fear--fear of not being able to please everyone or uphold some responsibility or always do the right things. But all this said, I always come back to the fact that I feel really blessed to be doing what I'm doing, and I feel extremely fortunate everytime I think about my life.

2006-01-05T10:43:00.000-08:00

I haven't made a post in while because I haven't had much to say. Or, at least, nothing that really merited typing out. Mostly, I've been pretty worthless over this break. I'm unapologetic about that. I thought about making a happy new year post, with resolutions and whatnot. I even started typing it, and it really seemed contrived, so I deleted it.

But anyway, a couple things...

One of the things that I've never been okay with about myself is that I'm just not really a college football fan. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a huge sports fan in general. I love sports trivia, baseball, NBA and College basketball and NFL, golf, poker, and lots of other sports (but not hockey or nascar). But, I've never been able to follow college football throughout a season. My big football day is Sunday. I'm always more enthusiastic about the Cowboys playing anybody than I am about a top 10 college matchup. Not saying it's right, it's just the way it is.

So, acknowledging the place of college football in my own hierarchy, makes the following statements all the more dramatic. . . Last night's Rose Bowl was one of the most entertaining games I've ever seen. I watched every snap. Vince Young is a beast, and I would love to see him end up with the Cowboys, even though I know that's not going to happen. After last night, I'm almost ready to say that he should be drafted ahead of Reggie Bush, all things being equal.
I hope Vince Young comes back for his senior season. I think that might compel me to follow Texas football as fan next year, even though I live with an Aggie alum.

Also, this is really the first time I can remember (huge qualification) a national championship game being, undisputedly, the top two teams in the country. And, I have to admit that all the bowl games I watched were really good (PSU/FSU, OSU/ND, WVU/AU). So, maybe my perspective on college football is on the verge of changing. I'll definitely go into next season with more of a willingness to follow it each week.

There are limits to my potential open-mindedness, though. I still say to hell with hockey.

Back Home Again

2005-12-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

No, I have not yet made the 2 hour drive from Fort Worth to Abilene, but, nevertheless, I do feel like a wayward child that has returned to the familiar, the safe, and the blessed territory. You see, the cable guy just left, and I now, once again, have 4 ESPNs, HBO, and the History Channel.

About a year ago, in a swell of "responsibility," we canceled various services that required monthly payments in an effort to "live within our means." It sounded like a good idea (and, it probably was), but the feeling of awkwardness never subsided. During the last year, I've only seen SportsCenter on trips we've taken to Abilene (usually after everyone's gone to bed, late at night). I've had to do without Ranger's games, Mavericks games, Sunday night NFL, and the Daily Show. You'd think one would get used to it, but I never did. To add insult to injury, our Tivo never quit downloading the programing schedule for all those channels--it was evil, I think, like the machine in 2001: A Space Oddysey.

Rachel surprised me yesterday when she told me she had called and ordered cable again. I had resolved to be strong, even over the Christmas break when I wanted to watch a lot of TV. But, if she's on board, I'm an easy sell. After all, we had always intended to get cable when the Sopranos final season began, which is this March. Yes, things like "responsibility," and "living within means" simply do not apply when new episodes of the Soprano's are airing. It's not even a conversation.

But, after the cable guy left this afternoon, I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of peace and fulfillment. It's not something I'm proud of. And, really, I only realized the extent of my lingering TV addiction today. And, I don't care. I'm gonna go watch some ESPN now. And tomorrow, I'm watching the same damn SportsCenter at least three times.

It's been a long time

2005-12-20T16:06:00.000-08:00

Well, now the semester is over, and I'm finally able to start thinking about blogging again. Throughout the semester, it was hard to post consistently, but around November, it was just darn near impossible. Not only did I have the end of the semester projects to focus on, but the three classes that I taught winding down, and I suddenly realized just how behind on grading I was. Added to that, Rachel was out of town for the better part of two straight weeks on three separate trips--one last trip for her old job, and two for her new one.

Now, the semester is over, and I'm starting to recharge a bit, and I plan to revive my blog over the break and then do a better job of working blogging in to my daily routine when the semester starts. Actually, I'm probably going to move altogether. Blogger's been good, but I like some of the offerings of other platforms like squarespace and wordpress. I like what Rachel's been able to do with her blog, integrating family life and professional life, but not feeling limited to one or the other. Maybe I'll join her. Ideally, though, I'd like a space to talk about teaching, another space to journal about academic matters as I prepare for my comprehensive exams next fall, and, of course, a frontpage personal blog space.

Anyway, I'm glad to be thinking about writing again. Merry Christmas.

Small Talk

2005-11-07T09:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had to go to WalMart to get various household items such as pop tarts. As I made my way to the car with a semi-full basket of groceries, and older gentlemen (75+) wearing a WalMart "Ask me, I can Help" vest approached and explained that he could take my cart. I thanked him and proceeded to unload my groceries into my car. We began with the obligatory small talk:

Him: "Doin' okay today?"

Me: (understanding the rhetorical nature of the question): Good, thanks. How are you?

Him: (not understanding, or caring about, the rhetorical nature of my question): Well, I shouldn't be at work today. I threw up three times last night, and, in fact, it was comin' out both ends, to tell ya the truth.

Me: [shocked and slightly amused] Oh, wow. Hope your feeling better now. [expecting that to be it]

Him: Well, I still got the runs real bad. Matter of fact, I need to run on into the bathroom directly. Probably shouldn't be at work today, but I need the money. Can't afford not to work.

As he explained to me how he was doing, he graciously helped me to unload my groceries into my car. Even though I'm not overly germ-phobic, it kinda made me cringe. Driving away, I didn't know whether to laugh, feel disgusted, or cry. I mean, I usually make fun of people who don't understand the rhetorical nature of the "how ya doin.'" But, this left me a little unsettled.

I wasn't expecting real human contact here, but rather playing perfunctory little language games to pass time and assuage awkwardness. So, it shocked me when this old guy really answered my question. I felt a little bit of shame for my initial reaction of feeling imposed upon by his truthfulness, even if it was crass or in violation of some social mores.

And, then I started thinking about this guy had said, and it depressed me even more. Shagging carts at his age, on good days and bad, because he needs the money to get by. I wish I'd tipped him.

Hmm

2005-11-05T07:10:00.000-08:00

You know, the biggest absurdity about this blog is that it's quickly becoming a blog about why I don't blog.

Update

2005-11-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

Well, I seem to have little time for blogging these day, much to my chagrin. Actually, over Christmas, I plan to change up my blog quite a bit, so that it can serve more purposes. Rachel talked earlier this week about her voice as a blogger and how, at times, she's been dissatisfied with it, resisting some topics and glossing over others for fear of what readers might think. This is something that I deal with too, especially with this blog. I really don't want to chronicle my life. Rather, I enjoy reading blogposts that are topical and well written from bloggers that understand the value of brevity. So, I've been resistant to blogging about my day-to-day. The flip side of that is when I get busy, it's tends to be at the expense of this blog since creating a post take more time and thought than scratching down a few details of my day.

I've come to think this might be a problem--how I'm conceiving the proper blogpost. Although I do enjoy the witty, topical posts, those subject matters are not what I think about all the time. What do I think about? Well, for one, this semester I have about 70 students in three classes. I teach everyday, and when I'm not teaching, I think about what I'm going to teach the next day. Then, I have to worry about the classes I'm taking, which I just trying to get through. And finally, as I finish up my course work this year, I have to plan and prepare for my comprehensive exams, which is a long and thoughtful process.

What I'd like to do--what I think might make my blog more conducive to what I actually do every day--is have a template that allows me to have side blogs. Usually, I want to talk about my teaching, my students, my pedagogy--things that would normally be included in a teaching journal, but up until not, for some reason, I've not thought those topics appropriate for a general blog. For one, I'm not sure anyone would be remotely interested in reading about that. I'd also like to chronicle my preparation for my exams next year--have a space to write through my thoughts and ideas as I'm doing a lot of outside reading. That means talking about a lot of academic and scholarly material.

So, really, I think this blog has become somewhat of a facade. I feel guilty when I don't post, and I want to post, but I usually eschew what's really important to me because of self-imposed constraints. So, that's why there's been such a penury of posts lately. I've gotten a little bit of hell for it. But, I'm determined to find a comfortable niche because I enjoy blogging, and think it's worthwhile.

Baseball and Me

2005-10-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

Baseball will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism. Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set. Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us.

Walt Whitman

Whitman, it seems, found pure joy in baseball. I, on the other hand, seem to have a more complicated point of view. In fact, I've always had a pretty mercurial relationship with baseball. When the season begins, I'm always really excited. I usually join a fantasy league and read up on expert predictions. And, I always believe, for a month or two, that the Rangers will finally get over the hump, despite neglecting their pitching for the fifteenth straight off season. During the summer, however, my enthusiasm for baseball wanes, mostly, I think, because I don't have the attention span for an entire season (162 games). Also, during the summer, the post-season seems so far off, so it's easy to neglect the day to day of MLB. I even get tired of seeing baseball highlights, especially during that stretch after basketball but before NFL preseason. But I usually start caring about baseball again right about now (although I will admit it's been harder this year than most. Sox-Astros? This is the crappiest world series since the indians-marlins in 97).

Really, if I'm honest with myself (which is rare), baseball's not my favorite sport. Football is more entertaining to me, and I definitely have more nostalgia for basketball. As a kid, I was pretty good at basketball, but I sucked at baseball. I couldn't hit the ball very well, and I sucked as a fielder. I really wanted to play catcher, but it freaked me out anytime someone swung the bat in front of me and also when the ball was thrown real hard at me. It just didn't work out.

As a kid, I liked the idea of playing baseball a lot more than I actually liked playing. I've always, I think, had more of an aesthetic and intellectual attraction to baseball as well as an appreciation for its history. I think it's a game that is timeless in some aspects and one of hidden complexity that requires a refined appreciation, and I like it for those reasons, but that puts it in an altogether different category than other sports. Not a better category, just different.

I do wish it were my favorite sport, but, really it's not. Other sports are more entertaining to me. My loyalty to the Rangers doesn't even compare to my fanaticism for the Cowboys. But still, it is world series time, and I plan to watch it. I've decided to root for the Astros, even though I hate the Astros. I'd like to see Bagwell and Biggio get a ring, and I hate the White Sox too, so that's enough of a reason.

#33

2005-10-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

I've always been a Celtics fan, and, growing up, Larry Bird was my favorite player. But, I think this story redefines what being a fan really is. (Either that or stupidity.)

You've got to be Kidding Me!

2005-10-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

I may be the last person to know about this. I've been unable to keep up for the last couple weeks. But, wow, unbelievable. I mean, seriously, how do follow-up such a quality movie as Rocky V?

Here's the story.

Speed Blogging in the five minutes before class

2005-10-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

This is the time of the semester when I always hit a low point, in both the courses I take and the ones I teach. Too far in to quit or to make big changes, too far to go until the end. But, I'm at the point where I can see the end and all the work it takes to get there, and, wow, it's a ton of work. Actually, that's sort of been the tone of this entire semester. Each week seems insurmountable, but somehow, I get through it.

Hopefully, things are starting to get better now that Rachel has finished her travel season. I might actually be able to get my work done, and, maybe, even do a little blogging. It's a sobering experience to live for just a short period of time as a single parent. It's amazing that so many people do it, many with more than one kid.

For the last few weeks I've been in survival mode, thinking about little else besides what it takes to get through the day. I hope that changes starting today. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a niche in my life for this blog (more on that later).

Now, I must run to class.

A Break From School

2005-10-08T19:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a recent picture of Rachel, John David and me. There are many more over on Rachel's blog.

I'm Still Alive

2005-10-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I've taken quite a hiatus from my personal blog. The reason: I've been so bogged down with other obligations that I can barely see straight. As I've mentioned, I'm teaching three, taking two, tutoring one and parenting one. To complicate things more, Rachel's been in Houston since Monday, so I've been spending a lot of time making sure John David doesn't set anything on fire or stick his tongue in an electrical socket. Each day, I pick him up from daycare and head home to start our evening routine. The trek home must be driven strategically: a longer route that passes neither McDonalds nor Krispy Kreme. You see, he's a very hungry, cantankerous child, and he's very fond of Chicken McNuggets and Donut Holes, almost analogous to the crack-head's affinity for crack. So, when we get home, my objective is to contain and play defense--anticipation and deflection, like in the game Pong. The old sports cliches apply: I can't stop him, I can only hope to contiain him. I play tenacious D until bath time, hoping to get out of the evening with minimal carpet stains, no new crayon murals on the wall, and all valuables in tact. If that happens, it's a victory for me. (Of course, victory is such a relative term here. Last night, John David found a box of styrofoam packing peanuts, and before I realized it, he had dumped them out on his head, and they went everywhere. Then he decided to play cookie monster with them. Nervewracking, (and a bitch to clean up), but harmless, I guess. It comes with the territory. Actually, Dooce has some pretty good thoughts today about the territory of two year olds.) Anyways, usually JD is asleep by 9:30 and I can get started preparing for the upcoming day. So, I haven't thought so much about my blog, except for a few template changes last week. But hopefully, I can come up for some breath this weekend. I have a few posts in mind.

On Blogging

2005-09-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

Wow. A week has gone by so fast, and I haven't made a single blogpost, much to my chagrin. Lex wrote today about the evolution of his perspective as a blogger, and he writes that, above all, there really are no rules for blogging. For the most part, I agree--that's part of the appeal. On the other hand, as Lex points out, there are certain things that are in the best interest of the blogger. And, though I won't call it "a rule", noticing my week long hiatus makes me think how important consistent posting is to a good blog. I think frequent posting is the life-blood of a good blog. For the most part, I fail in this area, but the blogs I like to read usually don't. When life get's busy, I put it off. Better bloggers exercise discipline. I never go a day without spending a lot of time reading blogs, but writing, I find, requires more discipline. Consistent daily posting is truly an accomplishment, and, I think, the main reason some blogs are more popular than others.

****

As I've mentioned before, my students in my intermediate comp class are all blogging this semester as a partial requirement of the course. The course I'm teaching is a rhetoric course that's known on campus as sophomore comp. A lot of universities don't have anything that's really equivalent, but there's a pretty strong rhetoric and writing emphasis at TCU. Sophomore comp is more demanding and complex than freshman comp. There's no real standard, widely known, stereotypical sophomore comp course. As a result, there's a lot more freedom. So long as certain objectives and outcomes concerning rhetorical education are accomplished, instructors are free to create their own courses. "Content-based" courses are pretty common as a means to spice up the course. Some courses have had a heavy literature emphasis, and others have studied historical movements or years. Still others have had community service components. This semester there are people using film to teach rhetoric and writing, and two instructors are using humor. It's fascinating stuff.

My planning for my own class came at a time when I discovered and became interested in blogs and blogging. So, this semester, my students are examining blogs as a venue for rhetoric, writing, social action and entertainment. So far it's going really well. We're reading this book and this book, and there's been a lot enthusiasm so far, and their projects and papers are really interesting (and relevant). I actually look forward to reading student writing now. I'm not an expert on blogging, and I don't claim to be, but I've come to see that that's one of the best parts.

Nine months ago, I didn't even know about blogs. Now, I'm fascinated. And, I think reading and writing in the blogosphere is a lot of fun, and relevant, and intellectually stimulating. The blogosphere is something that I want to spend time learning about, participating in, asking questions about, and enjoying. My class and I are doing that together this semester. (Actually, at this point, it's kind of a hostage situation, but I know that many are enjoying it.) I like to think that it is more relevant to them than typical composition classes, and more fun, for sure. And, my hope is that some of them will take what they learn beyond this class.

The best part is that the blogging is all about writing. Content is king. There's also a lot that can be learned about rhetoric in general and how writers make rhetorical decisions. In a lot of ways, blog writing is different than academic writing. But, more important, I think, are the ways in which it's the same. Bloggers write for audiences, in contexts, make arguments, make rebuttals, cite sources, establish ethos, form communities, and have conversations with writing. Most importantly, bloggers write a lot. Like in other genres, the best ones practice daily. Bloggers understand that writing is method of thinking, of weighing and considering, of learning, of making meaning, of filtering experience. Good bloggers have respect for writing's potential to enrich their minds and their lives.

Blog writing is really not that different from academic writing; it's just writing for and in a different community. A engaged blogger will understand their voice, their style, their interests, their strengths, and they will be better equiped than most to turn around and enter other writing communities, adapt, and succeed.

I'm having a lot of fun, and I learn a lot everyday; I'm learning along with my students, and I really enjoy reading their writing.

Elevators and Social Anxiety

2005-09-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

This picture was recently posted on Postsecret, which is a really entertaining blog. Anyone can send a postcard to the address provided on the site, thereby telling everyone and no one his or her most deeply hidden secret. This one caught my attention today, not because I have a similar secret I want to share, but because I've noticed for a while now that elevators are odd places. The idea of someone dancing in an elevator highlights this well. You see, it may just be me, but I think, for the most part, elevators are incredibly awkward public spaces--maybe the most awkward. For example, today, at school, I chose to take the elevator instead of climbing two flights of stairs. (I know. I'm lazy. But it was right there.) I was the first to get on, but before the door closed, a lady joined me. Then just as the door started to close again, another guy got on. We were all going to the same floor, so neither of them had to press any buttons. The elevator is kind of slow, so the three of us just stood there waiting to be lifted to the third floor. Because of the design of this particular elevator, it's most convenient to stand with your back to one of two opposite walls. So, if there's more than one person in the elevator, your face to face. So we all stood there, in total awkard silence, for about thirty seconds. No one said a word. No one even made eye contact...Ah, a normal ride in the elevator.

What irks me about the elevator space is that the normal procedures of friendliness seem to be null and void upon entry. Poeple usually remain quiet, and they avoid eye-contact. It's easy to see why: who wants to invest in a conversation when your traveling such a short way with other people? But, to me, the silence is awkward because I'm intentionally avoiding contact, both verbal and nonverbal, even though I'm in a very small space with others. It's weird not to talk to someone when you're standing three to four feet apart and facing. But, such does seem to be the unwritten rules: no speech or eye contact. So, to compensate, I, and others, I've noticed, have perfected the one tried and true strategy for avoiding the intimacy of eye-contact--the obligatory attention to the numbers that light up above the door. Everyone seems to watch these numbers as if sometimes there are surprises--like we're monitoring to make sure a floor isn't skipped, or as if your looking for that one last number before screaming "Bingo!" But, on the other hand, where else is one to look? Looking at the floor isn't subtle or casual enough. Reading seems a bit snobby, and it's usually inconvenient to boot.

I don't know if there's a solution to the awkward social phenonemon. I don't know that other people feel the same elevator anxiety. It just strikes me a bit odd that normal friendly customs become suspended in that particular public space. You know, if there were televisions is elevators, I probably wouldn't even notice. Wow, yet another problem that TV could solve.

A bitter-sweet football weekend

2005-09-11T18:58:00.000-07:00

As you might guess, this weekend's football watching resulted in a bitter shock followed by a sweet celebration. First, the celebration: The cowboy's game was great. Pound for pound, probably the best Cowboys game I've seen in a couple years. It makes me even more optimistic about this season, and it completely justified the hours I wasted this afternoon.

But, alas, on Saturday, I learned that TCU had fallen to the cross-metroplex rival, SMU. I was shocked--no one loses to SMU. Or, at least, no one who beats Oklahoma the previous week. I was really thinking that with a win against Utah next week, the frogs would have a great shot at going undefeated and to a BCS bowl game.

You know, TCU's loss sucks for me on another level, too. You see, although I'm a huge sports fan, I've never been into college football very much. It's the only major sport I'm not into (hockey doesn't count). I've always recognized this as a character flaw. The problem is that I've never had a team. Unlike Rachel, I went to a D3 university. Although D3 football can be enjoyable, it's completely different. Nothing ties me to a large school--not even family, until I got married (by that time, it just didn't feel right to jump on the Aggie bandwagon)

But this year was going to be the year that I was going to become a full-fledged, card-carrying college football fan. This year, I had a team. Once, TCU beat OU, I knew it was meant to be. I had found a reason to follow big-time college football. I had something at stake. The college football bandwagon pulled right up to my door, and I willingly got on. Then, a block down the road, the wagon hit a bump, and I fear I might have fallen off. I hope not, but it's definitely possible.

I was expressing my disgust to Rachel earlier this evening:

"How does a team beat Oklahoma and the turn around and get beat by SMU???"

Deadpan, she replied, "How do you think it feels to be an Aggie"

"Touche, touche. (They did lose to Baylor, didn't they)"

Now, if there were a playoff system in college football... But that's a diatribe for another day.

The Cowboys are Back!!

2005-09-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm excited about football season this--more excited than the last few years, in fact. Why? Because the Cowboys will be good this year. Here's why:

1. Reliability at the quarterback position.
Drew Bledsoe is hungry for his chance to return to his old form. The last few years, he's been plagued with injuries and really good back up quarterbacks. But, he's proven and healthy. (Even if Bledsoe gets hurt, Romo's clearly a Kurt Warner-type just waiting for his big-time chance.)

2. Finally, a decent offensive line.
This addition of Marco Riviera is huge. Now, three of the five starting linemen are probowlers, and Petiti has a huge upside. The center, Al Johnson is solid. As long as they can stay awsy from injuries they should be one of the top lines in the league. Oh, and Flozzell needs to learn to NOT false start.

3. Julius Jones
He's not a rookie anymore, and he's got a whole lotta confidence. He looked great during the preseason. Barring injuries, he's the next Emmitt.

4. Ware and Spears
As all the pundits said, the cowboys had a spectacular draft. Ware played lights out in preseason and, of course, Spears is a first rounder--nothing to sneeze at. They will compliment Greg Ellis and LaRoi Glover nicely, as well as a few other D-linemen in the rotation.

5. Cornerbacks
Finally we got some cornerbacks worth a darn. Anthony Henry and Aaron Glenn will compliment Terrence Newman nicely. Admittedly Newman had a bad year last year, but he had no help. This year, he's got something to prove. I think we'll see great things.

6. Jason Witten and Dan Campbell--the tight ends
As everyone knows, Witten's one of the best tight ends in the league. Campbell was hurt all year last year. If he remains healthy (which is likely), he can only make the team better, spread the opposing defense, and provide more receiving opportunities for Witten.

7. Terry Glenn
Terry Glenn was hurt most for a long time last year. He's an important component of the offense, because he's really the only speedy guy that can stretch the defense. He's back now.

8. Patrick CreightonThe second coming of Alvin Harper. I'm sure of it.

9. Roy Williams and Keyshawn Johnson
X factors--leadership and intangibles

10. Big Bill'Nuff said

I predict the Cowboys will be 11-5 this season. Yeah, that's right.

Pokernomics

2005-09-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

This may be interesting to me and no one else, but, oh well. Steven Levitt, author of Freakonomics has started a new study. He's quantitatively studying poker players and, more specifically, what makes someone a good poker player and vice versa. This is really interesting to me because I love playing poker and firmly believe that, if you're good enough, it's not gambling at all. I know people who are good enough to consistently make money with their game. I know because they've taken so much of my money. Levitt is studying the hand-history of anyone who's willing to send it to his site. So far, he says, the response has been overwhelming. I thinking that I need to start playing more poker now, for the sake of science. Ya, that sounds good. Anyway if this study is anything like Freakanomics, it will be fascinating, and it will probably sell quite well if published.

Thoughts on Katrina

2005-09-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

Like everyone, I been watching the coverage of Katrina's aftermath. It took me awhile to realize and swallow the severity. Now, I know, and I can't think about much else.

Last week, when I started hearing about Katrina, and her path to New Orleans, I was more in awe than fearful or anxious. At that point, Katrina was a category 5 hurricane, and it seemed that everyone in New Orleans knew what that meant: get out. The mayor, and maybe even the governor issued orders to evacuate.

As it turns out, many didn't or couldn't evacuate, and they're now paying a terrible price. Over the last two days, I've watched the footage incredulously. I am shocked and angered by what is going on. I have a lot of questions that I hope get answered in time, but even more poignantly, I think, I want somebody to blame.

I'm angry that in the United States we are not better prepared to deal with an anticipated catastrophe.
I'm angry that New Orleans officials aren't trained or don't have the resources to deal with the situation.
I'm angry with the city of New Orleans for knowingly building a weak levee system, that clearly couldn't withstand anything above a category 3.
I'm angry that marshall law is now ruling the streets of New Orleans, and that we don't have Marines there.
I'm angry that people are left without water and food, that helicopters are not constantly arriving with these necessities at the Superdome.
I'm angry about the looters who exploit their neighbor's misfortune, stealing jewelry and the like.
I'm angry that the House of Representatives waited until this morning to approve the 10.5 billion in federal aid (This is Friday. This storm was Monday).
I get angry when I hear Bush speaking behind a podium uttering meaningless platitudes that just sound like excuses for inaction.

Admittedly, many of these "issues" I have are mentioned out of ignorance. I'm no expert in disaster relief, law enforcement, etc, and I know that many good people are working very hard to render aid. I know that blaming someone won't change anything, but I become flabbergasted when I see things happening in my country that I never thought could. After 9-11, we could blame terrorists, and then when we couldn't find any terrorists to punish, Bush helped us blame Iraq. Also, the country united after 9-11, widescale relief efforts were immediate. Remember, that's when we started revering NYPD and NYFD. But with Katrina, not only is there no one to blame, relief efforts seem slow, shoddy, and inadequate to say the least. I hear about millions of dollars having been raised already, but then I turn on the news and see people dying from neglect. And then I remember that this was a category 4, not 5 like it was projected to be. What would New Orleans be like now if it had been a Cat 5 and if it had not veered east a little?

I know relief will come. I know that people are working very hard, doing their best. These are just some thoughts running through my head on a Friday morning, five days after the hurricane.

Fantasy Football

2005-09-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

I need two more people to join us for fantasy football. We're playing in a free league on espn.com. There are eight teams so far, and the league allows for ten. If you want to play, email me. It doesn't matter whether I know you or not, just email me if you would like to play, and I'll send you an invitation.

A Blogpost

2005-08-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged here in a while, and I feel bad about that. I think about blogging a lot, and I always tell myself that I should discipline myself to write everyday. But I don't. Right now, I'm so behind (and anxious about being behind) that I can barely see straight. I'm teaching every day this semester--well, Monday through Thursday. So, each day I have a prep to do, which I tend to prioritize higher than everything, even my own school work. For that last few weeks, my focus has been solely on teaching (or on preparing to teach), so I've had a bit of writer's block when it comes to this blog. I've made a few posts on my academic blog, and my intermediate comp class's blog, but none here, which really frustrates me. (I really admire any blogger who posts everyday. Mustering the discipline and generating enough material to write everyday is a huge accomplishment.) I keep telling myself that I'll get it under control soon, and start posting regularly, but I know that if I don't start forcing myself to post often, this blog might be in trouble. I don't want that. So, in the next few days, my posts will be forced-posts. I'm going to force myself to write...something. If I can discipline myself to blog when I'm busiest, maybe it will turn into a habit.

LOL

2005-08-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

Why didn't my commencement have John Stewart?

Read it now. It's funny!

A billboard on highway 121

2005-08-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

I know that any successful business must identify and target a specific clientele, but, wow, something's a bit unsettling about this!

Football anyone?

2005-08-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

Update:
***Okay, since it seems that there might be some interest in fantasy football, I've created a league on espn.com. But, I need email addresses to send invitations, since I set it up as a private league. So, either leave an email address in the comment section or email me if you're interested. (Email link it upper right corner.) Also, contact other people who might have some interest. We need 10 teams!

Oh, and the league won't draft until August 31, so we have some time.***

I've haven't played fantasy football the past few seasons, and as a result, I haven't been a great football fan. Once the Cowboys ware out of it, I seem to have little at stake, and I quickly become all but disinterested. Add to that all that I have going on from week to week, and it's easy to see how keeping up with football slips down the list of priorities. Fantasy football helps me keep football a priority. It may be pathetic that I need to trick myself into following football closely, but, unfortunately, it's true. When I'm playing fantasy football, I enjoy the season so much more.

I've had good and bad experiences with fantasy football, and as with so much in life it's all about balancing between extremes. Even at my most enthusiastic, I've never been a stats geek. I've probably never even spent an hour per week looking at my team. The polar opposite approach to fantasy football is to join a league, build a team, and then neglect the team completely. This tends to ruin the league for those who might want to have some sense of competition.

All this to say, I want to play fantasy football this year, and I would rather not join a league of total strangers. So, if anyone who reads this blog regularly (or who might have just stumbled upon it today) is interested in some moderately competitive and free fantasy football, the challenge has hereby officially been made. I think it could be a lot of fun. Let me know.

Six Feet Under

2005-08-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

I envy those who will be watching the finale of Six Feet Under tonight. As we've done with several HBO series, we've seen most of the series after it has come out on DVD. (Season 4 comes out Tuesday, so most likely, my week is shot to hell.) Anyway, we started watching Six Feet Under when we were going through Sopranos withdrawal, but we were quickly hooked. Six Feet Under has come up in a handful of coversations lately, and it's got me doing some serious reflection on the series as a whole. In the three seasons and forty or so episodes I've watched, I've cringed a lot. The show is gratutitous in just about every category. Its take on the American family is a lot like Cormac McCarthy's portrayal of manifest destiny--it's painful, bloody, quirky and erratic, but even so, it rarely feels overblown. And, even when the show goes to its most uncomfortable places, it's gripping because each character is so complex, with so many demons, just a family of good people struggling to deal with the nuances of their lives.

As I've thought about the show the last few days, I'm can't help thinking of The Sopranos at the same time. I've always felt that Sopranos was the best show on television. But, really, I think Sopranos appeals to a completely different set of sensibilities, mostly machismo and my penchant for mob movies (The Godfathers, Goodfellas, etc.) But pound for pound, I think Six Feet Under is the best.

FYI

2005-08-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

Gas is 12 cents a gallon in Venezuela, $6.48 in Amsterdam.

A Post for the Sake of a Post

2005-08-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything to this blog in a while. I say this blog, because I do have a secret blog. Well, it's not really that secret, actually (if you really want to read it, email me and I'll send you the url). It's just a blog that no one reads, and that's sort of the way I prefer it. It's a completely academic blog where I keep a teaching journal, freewrite about ideas, respond to academic reading and classes. I take my qualifying exams in about a year, and I think that blog will help me prepare if I keep it up. So, I have posted a couple times on that blog since I've been trying to get my butt in gear, writing syllabi and whatnot.

My other excuse is that my computer crashed three days ago, and the guy just came out and fixed it today.

And, the combination of everything starting back up again has given me a good case of writer's block when it comes to this blog.

So, that's all for now. Rest assured, the blog is not being abandoned, just neglected.

Denny Crain!

2005-08-12T18:18:00.001-07:00

I ripped this off from Tammy because I think it's absolutely priceless. Hope you enjoy it as much I as I did.

The Boys of Summer

2005-08-10T19:28:00.000-07:00

Another incisive article by Jayson Stark here.

Stark shows that we (sports fans) are quite fickle when it comes to what we label "cheating" in baseball. And, he argues that there's a pretty hypocritical sliding scale of reproach in the court of public opinion, too.

But again, this interests me because it's something I think I should be ashamed of. I can't muster the required amount of outrage by the bad behavior in sports. It entertains me, but it's not angering me. I still like Palmeiro, McGwire, and even if they were juiced, man it was fun to watch. I guess I'm just not a upstanding sports fan.

But what really astounds me is how seriously Congress is taking this whole thing. They got involved before when Raffy did his (now famous) finger waggle. Now, it's looking like they're taking measures to call him on perjury. If Raffy lied, I don't have a problem with him being called on it, but 1) I would think Congress would have better things to do; and 2) it's a hunch, but I seriously doubt they would care this much about cheating in football, basketball or (good lord) hockey. No, The homerun is revered. Baseball purists come out of the woodwork when the sport is being tampered with. It seems to me baseball's still the national pasttime, despite what ratings may say. It's interesting to watch all this drama.

In other news I ashamedly enjoy, Kenny Rogers's arbitrator got him off 7 games early. He pitched tonight, in fact. He really only missed about 2 starts. The shock-jocks on sports radio were livid (which, really, means that everything was quite normal in the world of sports radio. All day, I heard generic-sport-radio-diatribe #2 entitled, "There's no more honor in sports"). The veins on the foreheads were almost popping through the speakers. But, again, that kind of thing entertains me.

Then again, all this is coming from a guy who feels that this was baseball's finest moment:

sitting in a trailer, wearing no socks

2005-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today, we visited the new Ikea store. Absurd. (see #3 for more details) We also visited my friend Larry (best man at wedding, no less) who works in a goodwill truck. Larry sits forty hours per week in the back of a trailer and accepts new donations, guards old donations, and writes receipts for those donators who think about their taxes outside the month of April. I sat there with him for a couple hours today, talking about baseball and music and each of our lives. Larry's probably the most overqualified person to ever man a goodwill trailer. He has a master's in English from a prestigious program, and he's probably one the most intellegent and best educated individuals I know. He's worked there since he left academia, almost two years. He sits in a truck for eight hours a day, five days a week. For most of those forty hours, he reads, and reads, and reads. He reads about 2000 pages per week, every week. Though the job has recently been wearing on him, it meets his two-fold criteria for an acceptable job: 1) He's not required to wear socks; 2) He rarely has to talk with a "boss."

In grad school, Larry grew tired of the "academic games" (the hierarchies, the competition, the sycophantic students, the publish-or-perish attitude, the 'second-rate, trendy' scholarship 'being shoved down his throat'), and he abandoned any plans he might have had to pursue a job in academia. He had no interest in feeling pressured to publish, build a CV, teach apathetic students, or fight for tenure--to turn his passion for literature into a job. Although, it took me a while to swallow that pill--that he had come so far, only to become embittered and disinterested--I do have special admiration for him. There's a lot of pressure in life to fill a mold that is socially acceptable, and Larry has no doubt raised some eyebrows with his choices. As a culture, we tend to look at college as job-training--valuable only insofar as it lands you in the professional world, making a livable wage. Most of our life-situations demand this, too. But Larry decided not to sacrifice his love for literature and art for financial security or social status. I think he would view that as some academic prostitution (actually, I think he would prefer the word "whore"). Regardless, staying in academia wasn't worth it for Larry; it wasn't even close. He knew it would only make him angry and bitter. He would rather sit in trailer and have Wordsworth and Dickens to himself and enjoy it. He can write if he wants, and he does, I think; but, he writes for himself, according to his desire. He's living life on his own terms, something few do. And I admire his resolve.

Recently, Larry's been working to get his massage therapy license. As a massage therapist, he will work for himself and there's no one to make him wear socks. And, he seems really excited about that vocation. The air conditioning will be a step up, as well. (Unless he sets up shop in an unairconditioned trailer. But I don't think he will, really.)

This blogging thing is really catching on.

2005-08-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

In June at a workshop I attended, some one cited a statistic that really surprised me. They said that only 2% of the world's population has access to the internet. With that in mind, this article is even more mind-blowing.

Is this a fad for a few years? Will it die down? slow down? Increase? Will literally everyone be doing it in a year or so? Will it become the most important, or most relevant, medium soon?

Interesting to think about...

Some thoughts about baseball...

2005-08-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Notice the picture of Rafael Palmeiro there. It's not just any picture; it's the 1987 Topps baseball card. Why choose this picture? Well, it's the only year I collected baseball cards. That year, I obsessively collected Topps baseball cards. I collected the entire set by buying the 20 card packages with the crunchy piece of bubblegum inside. (Even though the gum was disgusting, I still chewed it everytime. It was a matter a principle. It was just the right thing to do.) Though I collected the entire set, that still wasn't enough for me that year. I bought the complete set, which to this day remains sealed in the long, green, rectangular box it came in. In 1987, I knew that such foresight and discipline would make me a millionaire in just a few short years.

Sometime during 2002, I came across this complete, still unopened 1987 set. (Over the fifteen years, I had actually forgotten about the treasure.) Upon finding the sealed green box, I went to the local card shop to see how many hundreds, even thousands, of dollars I might get. I expected the clerk to start salivating and make me a generous offer. After all, the set contained rookie cards for McGwire, Bonds, and Bo Jackson.

So, I casually walked up to the counter and told the clerk of my unopened complete set and asked if he had any interest.

He gave me a kinda annoyed and unapologetic "No."

Shocked, I asked what such a set might be worth.

He thought for a minute, and then, with a very pensive look on his face, said,

"If you put 'em in the spokes of your bicycle, it makes a pretty cool noise."

A part of me died that day. Needless to say, my cards were/are worth nothing. In fact, you can get a 1987 Topps set on ebay now for less than I paid in '87. Since then, I've been told the 1986 set is actually worth some pretty decent money. But, apparently everyone had my idea in 87.

Why did I think of this sad, sad story? Actually, I was looking for any picture of Palmeiro on google when suddenly I was attacked by nostalgia. As you might have heard, Raffy tested positive for steroids recently. Palmeiro has always been one of my favorite players; I love watching him bat. I think he has the sweetest, purest left handed swing I've ever seen. And, I was shocked when I heard he tested positive.

As I've mentioned before, I'm a pretty loyal listener to sports radio. I used to like it a lot more than I do now, but old habits die hard; if I'm in my car, and if I'm not listening the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning,
I'm most likely listening to some blowhard bitch about what's wrong with sports. I used to really like listening to these guys, but as I've gotten older, I've realized that most of them are really pretty bad at making a point. I would call most of the hosts "shock jocks"--that is, talk show hosts that express extreme opinions just to be controversial, and, ostensibly, to garner an intrigued listening audience. Because these guys tend to be so extreme, they generally tend to be wrong on most points, and really annoying to boot.

But anyway, today they were bitching about Palmeiro, which was no big surprise. (You should have heard them after the Kenny Rogers tantrum. It was hillarious.) Again, I listened to half a dozen "it-wasnt-like-this-in-the-good-old-days" and "baseball is doomed" arguments (I have satelite radio, so I have four sports channels). I've come to expect this these diatribes.

But what really made me want to talk about Palmeiro here is that most thought that he ought not be allowed into the hall of fame. Essentially, the argument is that his 500 homeruns and 3000 hits are voided by probable steroid use. I completely disagree.

Now, I am not going to make an argument that seeks to justify steroid use or alleged lying to congress under oath (which Palmeiro might have done a few weeks ago). I'll even allow that Raffy's numbers might be inflated by various factors. My deal is this: I don't really care if he used steroids. If it were my choice, I wish he wouldn't, but regardless, I still love watching Raffy swing the bat. Steroids are inconsequential to me.

Professional baseball players do things that I could never dream of doing. It's an amazing spectacle of skill and instinct everytime the take the field, whether juiced or not. I marvel, and they entertain me. That they might have been on steroids or otherwise banned substance doesn't diminish their achievement for me. I didn't miss "my shot" because some ol' boy chemically altered his body. Nor am I related to Roger Maris or Babe Ruth; I never even saw them play. What I have seen (Palmeiro, Bonds, Sosa, McGwire, Griffey), I've enjoyed from afar. I remember how great it felt in '98 watching McGwire achieve the unthinkable, hitting 62 homeruns, with Sosa giving him a run for his money up until the very end. It was great to watch, whether they were juiced or not.

Baseball is entertainment. I have no other stake in it. For the last fifteen years, steroids have been all but allowed. I'm quite sure that more people used them than we will ever know about. I think the playing field was quite level. (I feel similarly about the salary structure. I really don't care who spends what. I just like seeing great teams. Great teams are entertaining.)

So as for Raffy making the Hall of Fame? I think he absolutely should. He played in, perhaps, a juiced era of baseball, but, in it, he accomplished amazing feats that distinguishes himself from the rest, and he was one of the more likable players in the game.

I did find one journalist who went against the grain on this issue. Jayson Stark argues that Rafael Palmeiro should unquestionably go into the hall. As a voter, he declares that his ballot will vote for Raffy the first and every time.

...it's not my job to police this sport. It's the sport's job to police itself. And for 15 years -- maybe 20 -- baseball's police station was a place where the cops just sat around, played cards, smoked cigars and let the inmates hit 900-foot home runs.

Baseball's idea of policing itself in the '90s was to allow a whole generation of players to play -- without testing them, without punishing them, without preventing them from bulking up however they wanted.

So if they "cheated," it wasn't because I let them cheat. It was because baseball let them cheat.

...So all I know is that Rafael Palmeiro had a Hall of Fame career on those fields he was allowed to play on.

I'm procrastinating

2005-07-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

Right now, I transitioning from all the crap I did this summer to all the crap I have to do this fall. Summer stuff ended so recently that I feel like I deserve a break. Fall still seems far off, so I can't motivate myself to do what I need to do--cant yet muster an attention span longer than 12 minutes for anyything. I should be working a lot right now, but I'm not. I'm shooting myself in the foot, I am. Oh well. I always procrastinate until the last minute. I've come to accept that about myself. I tell myself I work better under pressure, but I don't really buy that.

Just watched Sideways for the second time. It's a pretty dark comedy about a few thirty-something wine snobs and their drama. It's a pretty typical depiction of aging Generation Xer's, their relationships, depression, loneliness, insecurities, alienation, doo dah, doo dah. It's was also just obscure and evasive enough to generate some critical acclaim. But, I must say that it's better the second time around--perhaps because we drank wine this time while watching the movie. The first time I watched it, I was disappointed because everyone (the critics) told me that it was a great film. I thought it was good, but I was still a tad disappointed because my expectations were inflated by the hype. It actually seemed the same flavor as Lost in Translation to me, a movie I absolutely loved. But, I didn't think it was quite as good as L.I.T. This time, however, I noticed more nuances and funny subtleties, and I appreciated Paul Giamatti and Thomas Hayden Church a lot more. Great acting. Church is all my high school and college buddies roled into one. Really. It's almost disturbing. But, it's also really nostalgic.

I've found that there are a lot of movies that you have to see more than once to truly appreciate. Sometimes it takes half a dozen viewings to really find the humor in movies.** I've found that the more times I watch Raising Arizona, the funnier it gets. If you've seen it only once and thought it wasnt that funny, I'm not surprised. Office Space is much the same way. It works the same way with drama. The Godfather gets better with each viewing. There are so many great moments in that movie. In fact, I think all guys need to see the movie at least three times or else they probably ought to turn in their man card. Now that I think about it, Dazed and Confused is probably the perfect example of appreciation through repetition. The first time I saw this movie, I thought it was absurd. No plot, really. But, slowly, over the next few dozen viewings, I started to appreciate, even revere, the movie for its good humor and acting.

People have told me not to form an opinion about Napolean Dynamite until I've seen it twice. As of now, I've seen it once, and liked it, but not nearly as much as most people. But, rest assured, it's on the netflix list, and it's coming soon. When I watch it again, I hope I come to like it as much as other people do--because they sure do like it a lot. I hope I roll on the floor when napolean talks about ligers, quesadillas, sweet jumps, and skills. I'm quite sure I will.

**

Note: This (ascending appreciation through repetition) is not the case with Elmo movies. Having a two year old, Elmo's on a lot. (It buys time that I can use to recover my sanity.) Elmo movies arent really very good in the first place, and, honestly, they get worse with each viewing. There are few subtleties and nuances, and, on the whole, Elmo is a pretty flat character. The plot's pretty formulaic and predictable as well.

My Harry Potter Phase is Complete

2005-07-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

I just finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and have, thus, completed my ridiculous Harry Potter marathon. I say ridiculous because of all the things I planned to spend significant amounts of time doing this summer, Harry Potter wasn't even on the radar. About a month ago, on a whim, I just up and decided to read the series. So, I did. And, I enjoyed it. It got me through some challenging teaching situations, and it kept me pretty entertained. On the other hand, I am glad to be finished. I've been looking forward to the end since somewhere around the middle of The Order of the Phoenix. Although there's little bad I can say about the books, I did start to get beat down by the Harry Potter novel formula. In a sense, it seems that every novel is exactly the same, starting at the Dursley's, starting school, layering complications, and ending with one giant battle scene or something equivalent. I'm not complaining, it's just that the similarities are really obvious when you read all the novels inside a month. Also, I have to admit, I really got annoyed with Harry's character in the last three novels. In the first three, Harry didn't annoy me so much because he was a young kid. But, the older he got, the less tolerance I had for some of his personality traits. That being said, I think second three books are several notches above the first three. And, at this point, I think the Order of the Phoenix is my favorite. Given, I just finished reading Half-blood Prince, and it may grow on me the more distance I have. But, at least now, there are a few reasons why I think it is third best. First, I was really disappointed with the way Snape turned out. I felt it undermined Dumbledore's character is a couple ways. And, I thought the story could have been so much stronger if Snape had gone the other direction. (I'm being really vague on purpose) Believe it or not, I have felt this wierd sense of appreciation for Snape for several novels (probably since he started teaching occlumency to Harry) because I felt like he was a really enigmatic character who, underneath it all, was a probably really interesting, complex, and maybe even a noble, despite being very humanly conflicted. (For the ER fans: I had the same appreciation for Snape as I did for Dr. Romano. Most people don't share my affinity for Romano, but he definitely was my favorite.) In the end, I just felt that Rowling worked out his character in the easiest way possible: the way I didn't expect because it was too obvious. Also, I still not sure how I feel about the novel's ending. I felt like it built for 550 pages and then had so much to wrap up in the last 100 pages. It seems there are more unanswered questions at the end of this novel than any other. I feel certain that's one purpose, but it still felt like a rushed and unnatural ending. Also, the title "half-blood prince" still kinda throws me. Although the potions text and its author was a significant part of the book, it hardly seems as significant as the subject of other titles. In some ways, it almost seems ancillary. But enough criticism. All this criticism is relative, after all; it was a really good book; I'd give it 8 out of 10. All the books have been a great experience. They've really allowed me to rediscover reading for pleasure (probably something I should do every summer). I'll definitely read the series to its conclusion. If there's only going to be seven books, I'll definitely be looking forward to see how Rowling wraps it all up in the next novel.

School's out, HP 6, & Syllabus writing

2005-07-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to talk about, but I wanted to post something...just because. Which probably means I'm gonna ramble about a bunch of unrelated stuff, just so I can say that I posted to my blog. I think it's called blogorhea in academic circles. Nevertheless.... Actually, right now, I'm a bit fried; today was my last day of teaching high school students, and I'm so glad. It's been difficult. I stop short of saying it's been a waste of time because I have a hunch that distance will give me some much needed perspective, or, at least, it will make me appreciate my college students. Right now, I'm ready to promise that I'll never bitch about college freshmen again. But, then again, why make hasty promises that I can't keep. But seriously, I guess this has been a good job. It paid pretty well, and I now have more confidence, should I ever have to step into a high school classroom at some point in my life, which is not the plan, but who knows what will happen. I may have difficulty finding a job, or I may get burned out of academia. But, nevertheless, this experience has been the real, "in-the-trenches" introduction to secondary education that I never had before (I finished my certification courses (worthless), but never student-taught because I was working full time at another job.) I feel like I've now been baptised by fire. Chalk it up to experience. Live and learn. Let's see, any more cliches?...Oh ya, c'est la vie. (My linguistic banality is not bound to only one language. But I digress.)

In other news, I finished Harry Potter #5 today. Now I am on to the new one. I'm in the club now, albeit a late arriver. I know last week I said I was going to slow down on the HP reading, but I didnt really. In fact, I read 900 pages of HP this week. And, I think #5 (The Order of the Phoenix) is the best novel so far of the five. I think that #4 (The Goblet of Fire) and #5 are clearly a couple notches above the first three, but I thought that 5 had a depth that I didnt so much find in 4, especially in the second half. Perhaps this is because Harry's getting older and his emotions are more complex, or perhaps it's because Rowling takes 200 or so more pages to develop the story. Either way, it was a really great read. It's good to take time and rediscover the joy of reading. I usually spend so much time reading things that I "need" to read, so, I think HP's been really good for me this summer.

Okay, so I've got two new syllabi to write. One, for my intermediate composition class that I'm teaching in the fall at TCU. The other for my Intro to Lit classes (2) at TCC. I'm actually looking forward to writing the first one because I've been thinking about it all summer. Intermediate comp is a course that not all colleges require; many colleges only require freshman comp and intro to lit. In intermediate comp, we will go beyond the basic freshman course (obviously). Because it's not an incredibly common course, there's not really a universal expectation for what the course is or should teach--like there is with freshman comp. So, intermediate comp courses tend to be really personalized and nuanced according to the instructor's interests. More often that not, courses will have themes, such as service learning, film, pop culture, humor, globalization, historical time periods like the civil rights movement, or any issue. My plan is to explore and analyze blogging as a compelling and multi-faceted rhetorical medium. I think there's a lot to be learned about writing of all types, research, analysis, social interaction, literacy, community building, etc. I'm really excited to start fleshing out some of my ideas. I'll definitely post my syllabus here, replete with explanations of all my units and overall plans. As for my intro to lit syllabus, it's a matter of choosing material. Because I am an adjunct instructor, I was given a text to work from, and I was told to be sure and use it. So, I must scour the anthology for stuff I've read and feel good about teaching. The pickins are pretty slim when it comes to poetry. On the other hand, I shouldnt have much trouble with fiction (short stories). For the drama unit, I'd love to pull in some non-canonized plays. A few years back, in London, I saw a play called "Art" by Yasmena Resa--probably the best play I've ever seen. Norm was in it (some people call him George Wendt). I bought a script and told myself that I'd teach the play some day. But now that I think about it, I probably won't this semester because I'd rather read it with older students. "Art" is extremely witty, and I might even call it cerebral if were haughty and pretentious enough. So, I'll probably leave it on the shelf. On the other hand, I really thinking about pulling out a play called "Our Country's Good" by Timberlake Wertenbaker. I read that play about five years ago and loved it. I've seen it anthologized a couple times, and I'd love to read it again. Regardless, this semester is all about staying ahead, a goal I'm yet to achieve for any significant amount of time. But I have roughly a month, and (second only to reading Harry Potter), my goal is to write some really well thought out and specific syllabi, and get as much of a head start as possible. Anyway, enough stream of conciousness. If you're still reading, I apologize.

The damn thing's over

2005-07-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

My 10 year high school reunion was last weekend, and I'm glad it's behind me. I've articulated my anxiety and lack of enthusiasm in earlier posts, so I won't do it again. It's not all that interesting really. But, I must say that the reunion was pretty much what I expected. It was mostly painless, and it was good for a few laughs (And despite my complaints, I'm glad I went.)** I was delighted to see some of fellow class-of-95ers, and I was (initially) looking forward to catching up, but I quickly found that renunions aren't really conducive to real conversation. Instead, we exhanged trite details of life ten years later. That's really all that could be done. The music was so loud, dialogue remained at an efficiency level, and sometimes I kinda felt like one of the head bopping club hopping guys on SNL. (Most people don't realize how much a "loud-music-club-scene" sucks for some one who's 6'4". I'm a head taller than most people, which means that my ears are almost always too far from the speaking mouth. I have two options, generally. Smile, nod, and throw in the occasional "ya," "cool," and "awesome." Or, I can repeatedly say "WHAT?" and insist that people speak directly into my ear. But, even that doesnt really solve me problems because when I turn my head to make a more direct line for the sound to travel to my ear, I lose the luxury of reading lips.) So, I mostly stood around and looked at a few people that I hadn't looked at in 10 years, had some fragmented and highly rehearsed conversations with others, and identified a handful of people with whom I wish I kept closer contact with. In the end, I feel "caught up" with only a few people, but I guess that's okay. Didn't really expect (or wish) to reestablish ties with all my highschool friends. One guy who I regard as one of the funniest people I've ever met was there on Saturday night. I had so hoped to get a good chunk of time to bullshit with him. But, unfortunately, I didn't get the chance until the end of the night, and by that time, he was so drunk that I just shook his hand and went on. Oh well.

RK said it well. Reunions would be pretty obsolete if everyone would just start blogging. They'd also be less expensive. But, nevertheless, a fifteen year reunion is now planned. I don't know if I'll go. I'll probably have about as much choice in the matter as I had in going to this one. But, I guess that's part and parcel of marrying someone who is from the same highschool class and who also generally likes people.

**By putting this statement in parenthesis, it is officially off the record. So, I still reserve the right to complain ad nauseam. And when the fifteen year reunion draws nearer, the statement becomes null and void.

A Weekend Game of Hoops

2005-07-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

Giving a Damn

2005-07-14T18:57:00.000-07:00

My friend Carey always advises me to walk through life vigilant. He tells me it's necessary to properly allocate my "damn" on a daily basis. He explains that people truly have a limited supply of damn at their disposal, and when damn runs out, you just can't give a damn anymore. Carey's damn ran out in 1995. It was a sad sight; he was sucked dry by a conservative Baptist college in the midwest. He survived, and I'm thankful. I talk to him pretty frequently, and he's always good for a gentle reminder about the peril of damn-debt (when you give too much of damn--more damn than you have available) and misplaced damn (when you focus your damn too narrowly and, thus, dont have enough damn to go around.) In such cases, one has no other choices but to start neglecting things.

Tonight, as I reflect on the past five weeks (of teaching high school) and look ahead to the next week, giving-a-damn is on my mind in a few ways. Closest to the surface is a feeling that I have simply run out. I find myself thinking, "what can I do to fill time next week without looking lazy?" Then, I start to feel guilty for thinking such things because I usually pride myself on my pedagogy. I enjoy teaching. But, indeed, this experience has been like no other. It's more than teaching, it's baby sitting. The students aren't ready or willing to learn. And, I'm told by colleagues that my experiences are quite typical. If that's the case, I can see why there are so many burnt-out or bad highschool teachers. (To fulfill my coursework for my teaching certificate, I observed several high school teachers, and it was obvious how complacent and utterly unispired many of them were. It was pretty disheartening, especially as I remember thinking at the time that lot of these teachers really didn't know their own discipline all that well.)

After just five weeks of teaching, I can see how this happens. Much of public education seems to have disinegrated to the point where it isnt about the disciplines any longer, school is now just a mandated ritual--a right of passage for the masses, biding time and jumping through hoops. It seems that the public school teacher has an impossible job because his focus must be so spread. Students are so challenging to work with in an academic context. Indeed, many students today are enveloped by so many issues that it's difficult to engage them with a sonnet, short story, or five paragraphs. Most students could use a good therapist. In five weeks, I've learned more details about these students' lives than I've ever learned from my college students in an entire semester. Through casual writing assignments, I've learned that these students struggle with issues like being abandoned by parents, sexual identity, teenage pregnancy, and even rape.

Even so, I've mostly been frustrated with these students because they can't (or won't) focus and work. For them, academics are unimportant. But, at the same time, I realize that these students are coming from a very different place than me. They have been raised differently; they've been taught different values, and they've been socialized into the world in ways that are incredibly foreign to me. And, I suspect it's this way with most high school teachers, who by and large come from a privileged background. With this dynamic, it's easy to see how the discipline you teach can take a backseat. Before education can happen teachers have to find common ground with their students. I've tried, and I've met a lot of resistance. I havent taught English like I thought I would when I planned for the semester. It's felt more like a day by day by day sales pitch as I pine for any kind of reciprocation. I've tried hard, questioning myself the whole way.

For all of us who teach English, at some point our ideals likely line up with something like John Keating from Dead Poet's Society. But Keating is in the movies, at a prep school, in a different time and place. I had ambitious plans for this summer term. After I had first accepted the job, I was talking to a friend about some of these plans. I remember him telling me that it would be great if I taught them anything. Whether his words were meant to be comforting or sarcastic or a little of both, I don't know, but it was clear to him that I wouldn't be taking the class into the hallway to read cavalier poetry on the first day. His simple, perfunctory statement was indicative of the reality of trying hard to teach people who didn't want to be taught and were far away from being able to sit in a classroom in a way that might be conducive to learning.

As I've said in previous posts/rants, I now understand that high school teachers have unreasonable tasks. This experience has replaced some of my ideals and fantasies with cold realities. Maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe these students are not so different, maybe it's my expectations that were naive. Maybe high school students have always been this way. Actually, I doubt it. This is different from my day, I think. High school students are so needy now. They need attention, mentoring, discipline, socialization, parenting etc. etc. and math, English, science etc. I've had five weeks, and that's enough. Though I understand why these students are difficult to teach, that doesn't a whole lot of difference in the day by day frustration factor. I think it would quickly dry me up.

Well, my damn has run out, or, better yet, I just need it for other things. Teaching high school students, especially "disadvantaged" ones, ought not be a part time gig. It must take total dedication, which, at this point, I'm not willing to give. It's time for someone else to take over. I think I have taught something, but far less that I had hoped. I've given them pretty close to my best for five weeks. Maybe I'll muster the damn to teach again next summer which some fresh ideas and energy. We'll see.

Ask me in a month what I think about the whole high school teaching situation. The time away might be therapeutic. Wow, what a crappy rant this has been!

Moving On

2005-07-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

I finished The Goblet of Fire a few days ago and started on The Order of the Phoenix, which is the last Harry Potter book until the new one comes out on Saturday. Right now, I'm only about 100 pages into it, which leaves about 800 to go. It's going to take me a while. Indeed, I've had I nice three week affair with Harry Potter, but now, I must start seeing other people. We can no longer be exclusive. But we will still be friends. I'm slowing down my Harry Potter reading because I need to get some other things done. As anyone who's read HP books knows, it's easy to neglect everything else as you make your way through the series. One of my goals was to be caught up by Saturday. However, I realized yesterday that accomplishing this goal would mean neglecting everything else I could do with my spare time, and I just can't afford to do that right now. Indeed, the reality of the fall semester is pressing on me. Yesterday, I decided to take on two more classes at a local junior college in the fall. So now, along with taking three and teaching one at TCU, I'll be teaching two at TCC. And, I was assigned Intro to Lit. classes. I've taught intro to lit before, but it's been a couple years, so the preps will take a little more thought and creativity. Wow, it seems that I'm taking a Giles Cory approach to life (Thanks to James for the obscure reference to The Crucible, i.e. Giles Cory was killed when they tried to press a confession out of him. His dying words were "more weight!") On the other hand, I am looking forward to teaching lit again. It will be a nice change, I think. But, with all that on my mind, I'm restricting myself to an hour of Harry Potter a day, or less. I think my new goal is to finish the series by the end of the summer, reading other things concurrently.

I've always hated Sundays

2005-07-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

It's true. A day that most people cherish and enjoy, I hate. Hate's too strong--I'll just say it's my least favorite of the seven. Years ago, in my child-mind even, there was such a clear distinction between Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was the day I could sleep in, play with friends, Sleep over at a friends house, go to a movie--a whole day dedicated to whatever I felt like doing, and usually, I thought about nothing else. Sunday, however, was the day to wake up early, get dressed in the least favorite clothes for a fat kid, my church clothes, then sit through two and a half hours of Sunday school and church. For someone between ages 6 and 14, I'm not sure there's anything worse that sitting through church. Some families went to church most of the time, others here and there. I even had heard of some families that went to church on Easter and Christmas only. Not my family, we went every single dad-gummed week. Never slept in. Never chilled on the couch eating a late breakfast. If we were in town, we were practicing presbyterians on Sunday. After church, we didn't eat at McDonalds. We didn't go to a pizza place. We didn't bar-b-que. Of course, we ate roast (a big hunk of meat cooked slowly with vegetables) every darn Sunday. To do otherwise, would be blasphemous, I think.

As I got older I developed a social life, a mild curiousity about the nature of absolute reality, and an aversion to eternal damnation. Thus, going to church became somewhat less torturous, though, if I'm honest, it's probably never been at the top of the "helluva good time" list. Even so, I enjoyed the youth group I participated in, which met on Sunday evenings at 6. Even during these times, however, Sundays began to be overshadowed by the upcoming week when I, again, would have to go to school. Being the lazy student that I was, most of the time I had procrastinated, saving all my homework for after youth group. So, invariably, Sunday was a day where I had to get up early, wear clothes I didnt want to wear, eat food I didnt like, and either stay up late doing homework or feel guilty going to bed. (I usually chose the latter, which screwed me over on Monday and most subsequent days, since I had to play catch-up all week.)

Now that I'm a grown up, I can wear and eat what I want. I have better church clothes since I picked them out, and I never eat roast! I can skip church if I want to, and I never go to Sunday school. But I still procrastinate a lot, and it always catches up with me on Sunday night, and I start feeling overwhelmed and ashamed that I pissed away the weekend. (Indeed, I piss away every weekend. It's an art.) On Sunday, denial turns to guilt, turns to anxiety, and, usually, manifests in a blatant irresponsibility on my part that makes me feel bad. And, complicating things, Sunday's one of the best nights of TV. But my TV watching enjoyment is always dampened by my thinking about the upcoming week, and, usually how unprepared for it I am. (But make no mistake: I saw every episode of Desperate Housewives, Boston Legal, and Grey's Anatomy) Unfortunately, my track record of efficiency for doing things I need to do (be it homework or otherwise) on Sunday nights is pretty piss poor. I make excuses, cut corners, and blog about why I hate Sundays.

So, really, I disagree with conventional wisdom that says Monday's the day to hate. If you've seen Office Space, you might recall someone asking Peter (Ron Livingston) if he has "a case of the Mondays." Highly annoyed by the question, Peter discusses it with his neighbor, Lawrence (Deidrich Bader), in a classic scene a few minutes later. Together, they conclude that one ought to get his ass kicked for asking such a question. I agree, but have different reasons than Peter and Lawrence. They object to the question simply because it's annoying. My objection goes much deeper; it stems from the unexamined "conventional wisdom"--the assumptions that buttress the question, i.e. the idea that Monday is the worst day of the week. Now admittedly, Monday has it's drawbacks, but by the time it rolls around, I've accepted that the week's started and I have to get going. I dont have a problem with motivation or efficiency on Mondays. Truth be told, I usually more rested on Mondays and have pretty good days. I'd take a Monday anyday over a Wednesday. In fact, now that I think about it, Monday, I think, is inherently better than all the weekdays (excluding Fridays). Besides being better rested, sometimes Mondays are holidays, tacked onto the weekend. How many times has a Wednesday been a holiday? Wednesday's not even spelled phonetically. But, then again, I don't want to get too down on Wednesday because I'll take it over a Sunday most of the time.

President Aristotle: Tom Paine and blogging for freedom -- (one bloggers thoughts on the role and potential of blogging)

2005-07-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

This blogger makes some really interesting claims that I'll definitely want to discuss in my intermediate composition class next semester (which will have a strong emphasis on blogging.)

The bombing of London may well mark the next great phase in the War on Terror. And the significance of weblogs in this period is this: war is not fundamentally about killing people--it is about breaking the enemy's will to resist. The terrorists can not win militarily, and they know it. But with the aid of the MSM (main-stream media) they have worked hard to undermine the West's will to fight. Every weblog that stays bold, brave and determined in the defense of liberty is to the War on Terror what Tom Paine was to the Revolution of 1776: the voice of freedom, the courage that keeps us free.

Here's the link:

President Aristotle: Welcome to Hugh Hewitt readers: Tom Paine and blogging for freedom

Update on Summer Teaching

2005-07-07T19:36:00.000-07:00

The phrase, "There's no such thing as a dumb question" is a cliche, and it's wrong. There are lots of dumb questions, and I hear many everyday. I'm pretty sure that whoever came up with that saying never taught high school. Because, high school students are often dumb. This is not so much an intellectual thing as a behavior thing. In my classroom, this behavior I'm referring to is pretty typical, caused mostly by the desire to be cool at all times. It seems that being cool means being generally clueless. Haven't quite figured it out to tell you the truth. But, regardless, this behavior generates questions, and almost all of them are dumb.

I've now completed my fourth of six weeks of teaching English in for Upward Bound, a government funded program set up to help prepare disadvantaged, first-generation college students for college. Right now, good reflection is a bit difficult for me (no doubt evidenced by paragraph 1) because I'm so close to the experience--and what a frustrating experience it has been. That being said, I'm not sure I can call it a categorically bad experience, just eye-opening about many things, most specifically, the day-to-day task of the average high school teacher. For me, the most frustating thing is the unavoidable teacher-student dynamic that, really, is not very conducive to learning. Most successful teacher-student transactions are necessarily undergirded by mutual respect--a respect that, at least, is feigned within the classroom. For the last four weeks, that respect has been almost completely absent, which means that the classroom dynamic necessarily changes from friendly to stern and sometimes mildly threatening. In no way can I give the impression that I am "cool," relatively young or "in touch," or laid back. The best way to say it: "I must be a prick at all times." My students have a hideous absence of maturity that affects everything I do in the classroom. I could really go on and on...but I won't. Let's just say, it's been challenging to try to trick students into learning something despite themselves. I have learned what an isolating feeling many high school teachers must have every day, standing in front of twenty-five students who don't care about anything you have to say and have no problems communicating it, verbally and nonverbally.

So, when I think back to high school and wonder why I thought some of my classes were a drag, I now know that it was, most likely, because of me. At that time, like my current students, I was between the ages of 15 and 18, and, like my current students, I had no soul--I appreciated nothing, thought I knew everything, and (as was so well articulated to me recently) there was not even depth to my shallowness. I'm quite sure this is poetic justice, since I distinctly remember making student teachers cry more than once. Now that I have a soul (which usually develops for most people around the age of 22), I'm ashamed of my behavior in high school, and see how much time I wasted and poor decisions I made. I had a lot of fun, but I'm also really glad that the world isn't run by teenagers. What a ridiculous place it would be. In fact, I pretty sure that teenagers should be allowed to make as few decisions as possible.

Excuses

2005-07-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's been over a week since I've posted to this blog. I feel bad about that, but I have an excuse: we've been in the process of moving. We boxed everything up (including the computer), and moved it about a quarter mile down the road into an apartment on the first floor (we're on the third floor now) and with another bedroom. Between packing, going up and down three flights of stairs, and trying to teach high school students, I've been really busy, but hopefully life will return to normal soon, and I will start posting daily (almost) again.

In the meantime, I finished Azkaban. Loved it. However, because I'm such a TV generation child, I rushed out and rented to movie after I finished the book. Somehow, my experience didnt seem complete until I experienced Hollywood's adaptation. I also wanted to compare my mental images to the actual cast and portrayal. Now, this won't be breaking news to anyone, but there is no comparison. Because I had just finished the book, I could fill in the gaps created by the film's need to condense. However, if the book isnt read first, I would think that the movie would be pretty incoherent and hokey.

Now, I'm feverishly reading The Goblet of Fire. I really want to finish so I can start reading number 6 on the day it's released. 1500 (or so) pages to go.

Alright, 'nuff for now. I've gotta come up with something to teach tommorow.

Harry Potter is Therapy

2005-06-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm teaching high school students this summer. It's challenging. This is my first experience with this age group, and I'm being baptized by fire. I'll spare you the diatribe. The gist is that I trying to teach English to fifty teenagers, most of whom could care less and have no trouble, verbally and nonverbally, letting me know just that. Each day is frustrating, and I'm usually pretty worked up at the end of each class period, having endured a lot of disrespect, apathy, and general disregard for authority. Today, though, I brought Harry Potter with me. Beginning the day, I was two hundred pages into the The Chamber of Secrets. I read until students arrived. Then, I marked my place, set my book down on my desk, taught, dismissed, and started reading again. I repeated the process three times, with an 45 minute planning period (extended reading time)between my last two classes. Returning to Hogwarts every change I got had a great calming effect, and, overall, I wasn't frazzled and on edge at the end of the day like I normally am. Rather, I was just looking forward to reading the last fifty pages...which I did as soon as I got home.

On to the Prisoner of Azkaban!

Star-Telegram | 06/26/2005 | Aiding Africa

2005-06-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

This article was really eye-opening to me.
Star-Telegram | 06/26/2005 | Aiding Africa

Okay, I caved.... A post about Tom Cruise

2005-06-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

I declared in my last post, and several times outside of my blog, that I didn't want to talk about Tom Cruise. Whether Tom and Katie is a publicity stunt or true love, I dont care, though I admittedly remain skeptical. Even so, I don't think it's that big of deal, and I'm more blown away by seeing everyday "how much we care," (this "we" being those who decide what is and those who watch "news" with such interest) evidenced by all the buzz it's been getting. However, now that Tom has made the news with his perspective on phsychiatry, I do want to make a few comments.

Might these statements made on the today show be career ending for Cruise? My wife and I have discussed this pretty extensively, and I think probably not. However, I think it will definitely hurt him. His stock, as an actor, has definitely gone down for me, and I'll watch War of the Worlds on video, if at all. Part of the lack of excitement that I have for this movie is due to the recent exposure of Tom Cruise's personality. To be blunt and inarticulate, I just dont think he's that cool any more. None of the Joe Cool is left. (I should have known when he couldnt save Goose). If you think back on the roles he has played, Cruise never departs much from his natural personality. Does he ever really, really stretch himself like Billy Bob Thornton did in Sling Blade or Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby? Maybe he has, and maybe I just dont remember, and maybe it's not even that big of deal. Many many actors have made great careers of playing one type of character and playing it really well. However, Tom Cruise's popularity seems to exceed the popularity of those types of actors. For years, it seems, he's been the gold standard.

But, what really stopped me cold when reading his interview with Matt Lauer was his defense of his views about psychological medicine like anti-depressants, ritalin, etc. Now, I must admit, these drugs are overprescribed in our country. I think they are often viewed as the quick and final fix for problems that should be consciously addressed in therapy. When I was an education consultant at a for-profit educational service, I frequently talked to parents about their kids struggles in and out of the classroom. No lie, 8 out of 10 parents would tell me that their child had ADD or ADHD and sometimes were on medication. Sometimes not. I quickly learned that, for many parents, those disabilities/labels (ADD and ADHD) had become a catch-all. Now, sometimes the diagnosis, in my opinion, was correct (whether it was a nature or nurture issue is another matter). However, in other instances, it clearly meant "my child is strong-willed, lazy, doesn't get math, won't listen to me, or won't respond to discipline. Admittedly, I am not a psychologist; I am not an expert in child psychology, but I would bet that out every ten parents who claim to have a child with ADD or ADHD, maybe two or three actually do. I drew these conclusions after tutoring these students personally. I felt like, most of the time, I could clearly tell when a student had a real learning disability and when, for whatever reason (boredom, lacking necessary skills, obstinance) the child was disengaged for other reasons.

Back to Tom Cruise. Despite my initial sympathy with many of his claims about overmedication, I thought some things he said were very questionable. Clearly, he was very defensive about his beliefs. Matt Lauer is a tough and articulate interviewer. When Lauer called Cruise out on the carpet about some of his views, Cruise told him that he didnt understand the HISTORY of psychiatry. Meaning, Cruise claims to have drawn his controversial conclusions after reading "the history" of a field. This defense shocked me. What does Tom Cruise think history is? What is the true position/perspective/role of the historian? We've all heard the cliche that history is the story of the conqueror, but to unpack that a bit, I think it's important to understand that history--like fiction, religion, and life in general--constantly and inescapably maintains a bias. Bias, in this context, is not pejorative; bias--an individual rhetorical perspective--is simply present everywhere. Nothing is wholly objective. In the end, all histories are stories told by historians who exercise descretion and make choices about what's important, what counts as good evidence, what is appropriate methodology, and what conclusions are to be drawn based on such choices. To suggest, like Cruise does, that understanding "the history" of psychiatry would lead him to different conclusions is problematic beyond belief. I dont know what histories Tom Cruise has read. But, I do know that his historian of choice did not stand outside of of a transparent history, evaluating events and circumstances in a vacuum. (History is not a chronicle of facts, but rather, its always subject to interpretations) More likely, Cruises historian was sympathetic with a particular school of thought, movement, religous affiliation--or some kind of values that informed their conclusions about what matters as history. The history of the U.S. will have significant differences understood by an African American person(like Ralph Ellision) or a Southern person (like William Faulkner). For many years in school, we were fed a white-washed monolithic version of history, and I think that has effected societies conventional wisdom about what history is. (Reading Howard Zinn would be eye opening for most who were educated in America. Not that Zinn represents the "true" history, but he definitely shows another perspective and another bias.) I guess my point is that while one history of psychiatry might support Cruise's conclusions about psychological medicine, others most certainly will not. In fact, its more likely that more psychiatric history will tell a narrative of a discipline that, despite many past mistakes like electroshock therapy, is now better understood than it once was. Though most people will agree that humans cannot be reduced to a conundrum of chemicals and synapses, most of the science of psychiatry is sound, I think, and psychological medicine is useful is calculated moderation.

We have all known people who have been helped by anti-depressants and the like. To tell those people that psychiatric medicine is bad is ridiculous and ignorant, and I think most people feel this way. Has it been abused, over-prescribed? Probably. Are people more likely now to errantly self-diagnose? Absolutely. Does this give us a reason to decry the use of phychiatric meds? Absolutely not. I think that would be throwing the baby out with the bath water.

See, this is what happens when we listen to what movie stars have to say. We spend time blogging a response rather than doing other things we need to do. After all, Tom Cruise is just a guy with an opinion, like me. Why should we put so much stock in it? Kinda annoying if you ask me.

Four Stars for Cinderella Man!

2005-06-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I watched him as a gladiator, a schizophrenic genius, and all the rest, and I have never been "sold" on Russell Crowe. Never thought of him as a great actor That is, until tonight. I just got back from seeing Cinderella Man, and I think it will likely be the best movie of the year. It's Rocky meets The Grapes of Wrath. This movie is arguable as good as Million Dollar Baby, and I think the boxing is a lot better. There is an excellent blend of action and drama, and the acting is fabulous. Paul Giamatti will almost certainly be nominated for best supporting, Renee Zellweiger for best actress, and, of course, Russell Crowe will certainly be in the running for best actor. It's funny, for me Russell Crow's stock is skyrocketing while Tom Cruise's is plummeting. But, I don't want to talk about Tom Cruise. (He's annoyed me so much is the last few weeks that I just going to leave it at that.)

This movie is worth every penny! Definitely the best Richie Cunningham movie I've ever seen!

It's Official

2005-06-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

The Harry Potter marathon has begun. I'm starting with the second book, and my goal is to read all the HP books, concluding with the newest one that comes out July 16th. Of course, you must realize...this is ridiculous. I take my qualifying exams in just over a year, and there are probably a hundred more "responsible" things that I could do with my time. Nevertheless...

2005-06-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

A great post today at Waiter Rant. Definitely worth the time to read.

100 things about me....sorry.

2005-06-21T17:34:00.001-07:00

Here’s 100 things about me. Yes, I succumb to blogger-peer-pressure.

1. I’m 28, seventeen days younger than my wife of five years.
2. My wife and I met in 6th grade, but didn’t start dating until we were juniors in college.
3. I have a 2 year old son.
4. I was an English and Philosophy major in college, and I have a master’s degree in American lit, though I’ve never really been an avid reader, i.e. one that would rather read than anything else. Too much a product of the TV generation. It’s a constant struggle in my life.
5. Actually, when it comes to reading, I think I only now learning that I prefer nonfiction to fiction. I think I’ve been in denial for a lot of years, trying to fit the mold of an English major.
6. I originally chose English as a major because it seemed the lesser of all evils, not because of any talent or voracity for reading or writing.
7. I’m now working on my PhD. in English(ya...go figure); rhetoric and composition is my focus.
8. The older I get the more I am acquiring a love forlanguage and writing. Ironically, I think, this has been nurtured most be teaching writing and literature.
9. I am fascinated by blogging, and I am building my intermediate comp class around it in the fall. I think it will be fun, and I think I will learn a lot from my students. I hope my students will be excited about it too.
10. I think people should mince words. It’s called tact. I don’t like people who “call it like they see it.” They are usually crass, full of it, and generally unlikeable.
11. I’m 6’4, and 260+ pounds, and I’ve been this size since my freshman year in high school.
12. Despite my size, I was never a football player. And I lived in West Texas, a place where the movie Friday Night Lights is pretty dead on.
13. All through high school, I was pressured to play football, and for one semester (of off season workouts) I did.
14. I love sports, but I have never had the dedication to play them well. Everything about playing football was an imposition to me.
15. I’m teaching English for Upward Bound this summer.
16. I have a lot of pet peaves (see #6), and I often thought I should make a real numbered and ranked list of them, but I never have.
17. I spent the Fall of 98, when I was 21/22, attending a college in Grantham England, traveling around Europe every weekend
18. I wish I had that experience to do all over again. I would appreciate it more.
19. I love Texas Hold’em.
20. I hate it when people habitually don’t answer their phone
21. I hate it when people are overly—unnecessarily—guarded.
22. I hate poor customer service.
23. I hate when people have senses of entitlement—for the A in school and for the tip at the restaurant.
24. I love a good diatribe.
25. I know that the correct spelling of y’all is y’all, not ya’ll.
26. I have always bought more books than I read, and I’ve always felt bad about this until I did an informal survey of the other grad students in my office. Everyone else was the exact same way. On average, people read about 50 percent of what they actually own. This is gratifying for two reasons. 1) I’ve read more than 50 percent of my books. 2) I think I’m in the right place (grad school).
27. Speaking of books, I have a habit (which I’ve always hated) of not finishing the books I start. Often, I will get over half way through and will start reading something else. I think this is a combination of eagerness and ADD, the latter wrought by being a part of the TV generation.
28. I fight chronic laziness constantly. Laziness wins too much of the time.
29. I’m ardently against the death penalty.
30. Amelie and Love Actually are two of my favorite movies, and that doesn’t make me gay.
31. I think Lonesome Dove might be the best story ever told, and the movie is incredible too.
32. I’ve watched about 17,893 episodes of Elmo in the last twelve months.
33. I rarely drink coffee. I like the taste a lot, but definitely in moderation. It almost never sounds good to me in the morning time.
34. I like breakfast a lot. It’s my favorite meal.
35. I think Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches just might be the world’s perfect food. It definitely gives bacon a run for its money!
36. I’ve known for a long time that being more organized/anal would make my life a lot easier.
37. I HATE (and this may be my biggest pet peeve) when someone in the apartment below me or in the car next to me is playing loud music and all I can hear is bass. It makes me want to kill people.
38. I have always been afraid of heights. This phobia has become more intense since my first child was born. I now have frequent nightmares about falling from high places.
39. I really really hate it when people eat a bowl of cereal and then drink the remaining milk from the bowl. One time I saw a cereal bowl in the store that had a built in straw for that very purpose. It think it caused deep psychological scars.
40. I suffer from some sort of insomnia. I always get to sleep eventually, but sometimes it takes me two or three hours of lying in bed. It takes my wife an average of 16.72 seconds to fall asleep. One time, she held on for four and a half minutes.
41. The first book that ever blew me away was Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. I was 18.
42. The second book was A Message in a Bottle, by Walker Percy (the first five or six essays). I was 23.
42a. (added later) The Grapes of Wrath must go on the list of books that blew me away. I read it about a year ago. It really affected me like no other work of fiction has. Still havent completely recovered.
43. I’m pretty sure that neither book would blow me away if I read them for the first time today. But thinking about my respective reaction to each book takes me back to when I was a different person, so to speak.
44. Absalom, Absalom! is my favorite novel. This is partly because I have invested so much time in it. But also, the more time I spend with that novel the more I appreciate its brilliance. The ironic thing is that I would have a hard time recommending it to a lot of people.
45. I’m really particular about the pens I write with. Always have been. Going to a class with a pen I don’t like writing with will ruin the class for me. I won’t take good notes.
46. For most of my life, I was heavily involved in music. I was a music major for the first year and a half of college. I just sort of fell into English. So basically, I jumped from one useless degree trek to another. I mean really, what degree is more useless that music or English. Oh yeah, Philosophy. That was my other major.
47. When it comes to doughnuts, Apple Fritters are my favorite.
48. I love hamburgers and am jealous of texas burger guy’s brilliant idea for a blog.
49. I don’t consider macaroni and cheese is a viable meal in and of itself. I think I’m in the minority on this one, and I don’t understand why.
50. I always return shopping carts to the “return carts here” corral, even if it means walking a ways. When my son is with me, though, I can’t...because I would have to walk away from the car where he’s strapped in. Even so, I always feel guilty about leaving a cart out of place in the middle of a parking lot.
51. I think being a stay at home parent has to be one of the toughest jobs there is. Last summer (while I was transitioning jobs), I took care of my son for three months. It’s draining, physically and emotionally, in a way like no other job I’ve ever experienced. It’s indescribable.
52. I would have mocked #51 before I experienced it for myself.
53. I’m quite sure this is a character flaw, but, in general, I don’t like old movies.
54. When I was in 4th grade, I thought that movies don’t get any better than Big Trouble in Little China.
55. Now that I’m in graduate school, I think that still stands.
56. Other movies that deserve honorable mention include: The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather,…
57. I don’t drink alcohol very much, have a tobacco habit, or use drugs. But I do drink an ungodly amount of Diet Coke everyday.
58. I love to grill. If I didn’t live in an apartment, I would grill just about everyday.
59. Although my senior year in high school was one of the best years of my life, I don’t think my now-self would like my then-self. We probably wouldn’t even hang out. I wonder if that’s true for a lot of people.
60. During the summer of 1997, I lost 70 pounds by working out everyday and eating absurdly right. Although I tell myself I could do it again, I’m starting to doubt it.
61. I think all wreaths that aren’t Christmas wreaths are tacky.
62. I like walls that are painted dark colors.
63. I wish I was handy, but I’m just not.
64. I wish I knew about cars. But I don’t.
65. If I could go back to highschool, I would take every vocational course offered…autobody, ag, airconditioning,….everything. I’d save the liberal arts type classes for college.
66. If someone told me I had to specialize in Brit Lit, I think I’d quit grad school.
67. One of my favorite things right now is when someone makes a comment on one of my blog posts.
68. I tried haggis in Scotland…and I liked it.
69. The best thing I’ve ever eaten are the hotdogs in Vienna, Austria. I was there in ’98 for two and a half days. I had ten of them. Trust me, they’re good.
70. I think my biggest fear is the fear of being sad. Now that I think about it, that encompasses a lot.
71. I think people should take at least one year off to work a real job between high school and college. Doing this, I think, would have made me more successful, appreciative and generally vigilant, and I know it would do the same for many of my students.
72. My voice is a lot less dynamic that it sounds to me (inside my head). My monotonous timbre often gets mimicked, and the monotony never fails to totally surprise me.
73. I’ve never been able to use a daily planner. I’ve tried several times. If something’s important enough for me to remember, I do. If there’s something that I’m liable to forget, it’s usually not important enough even to write down.
74. I’m a Christian, but I find that the older I get, the harder it is to be a Christian. Much of the time, other Christians annoy me. Church services also annoy me a lot. I constantly find myself critiquing the rhetoric. Recently, I’ve found that I like reading faith blogs a lot more than going to church. I read Mark. D. Roberts pretty frequently.
75. When I was about six or seven years old, I saw Easy Bake Ovens advertised on TV. Suddenly, I was enraptured by the potential power that I could possess. I saw myself being able to control when I have chocolate cake. Days later, I asked Santa for an Easy Bake oven. My family has made fun of me ever since. Apparently, to them, their son/brother asking for an Easy Bake oven was tantamount to him asking for a Barbie. I guess I never sufficiently explained my motivation. I doubt it would have made a difference.
76. I used to like Billy Joel a lot. Then, one time I heard him talk, and I thought he was really flakey. It may have been my mood or a bad five minutes of talking for him, but since then, I haven’t really ever wanted to listen to his music.
77. I like blues and jazz a lot, and I regret that I don’t live in a place that’s conducive to appreciating those genres (like New Orleans or Chicago would be). I once went to the House of Blues in Boston and saw a blues/jazz/funk band, and it was a sublime experience. If I lived somewhere else, I think seeing bands like that would be my main hobby.
78. I play the piano (since age five) and guitar (since age seventeen). However, I hardly ever practice anymore. With both instruments, I hit plateaus years ago.
79. I’ve always wished I had played cello. I’ve been told I have perfect hands for it. My hands are large, and their size inhibits my piano and guitar playing.
80. I’m a lot happier with netflix than I’ve ever been with my local video store.
81. When late fees apply I pay an average of $34.83 for each rental from a local video store. I have a bad habit of renting movies and then procrastinating about watching them.
82. I have a lot of respect for chili, but I’ve never been one to add it to burgers, hotdogs, baked potatos, Fritos, or anything else.
83. I’ve never been in a real fist fight. But I still have time, right?
84. If I could go anywhere on vacation, I’m not sure where I’d go, but I know that I would NOT go on a cruise, or even to a tropical destination. There are so many places to see, and if I ever have enough money to do some real traveling, I’m not going to lie on a beach.
85. I’m a big fan of public transportation, and I think every city ought to have systems like London’s.
86. I love the Pubs in Britain. The beer is good, and the food is good. The atmosphere is awesome; it’s quiet and very conducive to conversation.
87. I don’t like American bars/pubs because the music is always too loud. It makes it difficult to have conversation, especially if you’re tall like me. My ears are about a foot above most people’s mouths. When you add loud music and a lot of other noise, I might as well be by myself.
88. While in England, I drank room temperature beer. That’s how they served it. After a while, I started liking it that way. When I tell people that now, they think I’m nuts. No one in the U.S. will give warm beer a chance, but I think the nuances of taste are so much more evident when beer’s not ice cold.
89. I have been two feet away from the late Pope John Paul II. I was sitting on the end of the pew when he processed down the main isle of St. Peters. I could have given him a high five.
90. I think Elvis is one of the coolest people and best singers to ever live. He has been underrated for the last twenty year at least.
91. Bruce Springsteen’s Devils and Dust was the last CD I purchased. It's a great CD.
92. I like documentaries a lot, especially ones by Ken Burns.
93. I have probably owned more than 100 polo shirts in my life (the style, not the brand).
94. If I was rich, I would wear a new pair of socks everyday.
95. Annie Dillard, Saul Bellow, and Ernest Hemingway are three of my favorite writers
96. My favorite television shows are: The Sopranos, Six Feet Under and Boston Legal.
97. I’m very brand loyal. I don’t like generic or off-label brands.
98. I love bookstores. They are very calming to me. I don’t think I ever want to work at one because I would be afraid that I would grow tired of it.
99. I really like sitting down.
100. I think good quality shoes are never a bad investment (regardless of cost). Now, don’t get confused. I’m not saying that its okay to have fifty pairs of shoes. It’s not. I’m a big believer in no more than half a dozen really good pairs of shoes.

I’m done.

Star-Telegram | 06/18/2005 | Blogs give voice to evangelical Christians

2005-06-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

Star-Telegram | 06/18/2005 | Blogs give voice to evangelical Christians

Here's an article by Hugh Hewitt that caught my attention. Hewitt is one of the most prolific bloggers, and he is an authority on the blogging, the blogosphere, and new media. His most recent book, Blog: Understanding the Information Reformation that's Changing Your World is an excellent read. See my review below (my May 27th post).

In this article, Hewitt tells how blogging is having an impact on evangelism.

Why didn't I think of this?

2005-06-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

I have to give an honorable mention to Texas Burger Guy. He has a great blog. I mean, what a public service! (And a great excuse to eat greasy hamburgers all the time! All the reviews are great. Burger guy has it down to a science, rating burger "ooze factor," "Herd killer status" aka size and weight, "handling" (how many hands it take to hold the burger), and "bling bling" (price). I've eaten at several places he reviews, and I generally agree with him. But mostly, I'm just jealous of his blog.

Oh, you've gotta check out the "HamDog--half burger, half hotdog" on his Burger Stories list. He just maybe have found the perfect food.

Upward Bound - I survived week one.

2005-06-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, I dont want to sound cynical, but I feel that this post just might go there. So, I apologize in advance and assure you that I'm not giving up. Actually, I think my week went quite well. I have three classes: A freshman/sophomore class with 7 students, a junior class with about 20 students, and a senior class with about 15-17 students. The junior class is the more "enthusiastic." It's hard to hold their attention, and most of them could seemingly care less about writing. Can't say I was much different at their age. Payback's a bitch, huh. In reality, each of the classes are challenging for different reasons. Most of the students are likely performing below grade level. My hope is to give then, honestly, two or three principles/ideas/strategies that might help them in the future. Even that, I think, will be a challenge. Not that these students (and I am generalizing. A couple do seem to have very good attitudes.) are unteachable, but few seem even the least bit focused. Most seem far from being ready for college. This program is designed to help gradually prepare students for college. It was very important to the administration that I create and use a syllabus. Also, the feel of the course is supposed to be extra-curricular. All that is no problem, but it seems weird that student resist the course like they would a normal high school course. They applied to the program and were selected to the exclusion of others. They are paid to attend. But still most of them dread and resist, seemingly, everything about their daily activities. It seems kind of nonsensical. But really, I guess it's not. I guess it's like preferring to be in college, but dreading the classes, the tests, the papers, and pretty much everything else.

But, I think these very palpable attitudes present definite challenges to high school teachers. In fact, I am (in part) developing a new respect for good highschool teachers. Teaching high school, it seems, would very easily make one caliced, academically lazy and maybe bitter. When your work (lesson planning and teaching) is not EVER reciprocated by student engagement, how can teachers help but merely fill time. I mean, really, even if I were to come up with greatest unit or the most well thought out lessons on writing--even if I tried my best to make the assignments applicable to them--most of them would still think their time was being wasted, and they would think the assignments and lessons stupid. So, I think teacher motivation must be hard to come by.

I dont want to make these students sound worse than they are because they're really not that bad. Please don't picture me as Jaime Escalante from Stand and Deliver. In fact, these students probably arent far from average. This is just my first experience with this age group, level, and demographic. Every class I've taught has been in a University setting. If nothing else, my students have always feigned respect and engagement--or at least they have been quiet. So, admittedly, I have the most to learn here.

Despite my doubts, I know I have to motivate myself. This experience might test my mettle in new ways. But, if I pride myself on being a teacher, it is my job/vocation/calling/responsibility to seek engagement with my students, whoever they happen to be at the time. Despite a lot of what I've said (stuff that I've needed to get off my chest) I am optomistic about the next five weeks. Lives may not be changed, but I think I can remain tenaciously focused on small goals and outcomes that they just might take with them, despite their teenaged selves.

I have always been inspired by Annie Dillard's ways of looking at the world. She always seems so grateful and appreciative of what she finds, where she finds it. Here's my favorite quote from Tinker Creek, which I think is quite applicable here...
It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourishged and fatigued he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get.

I think a lot of what I have been venting about is general fatigue and malnutrition, figuratively speaking, that may cause me to overlook or be resistant to new and valuable experiences. In my other teaching gigs, I have always directly fed off of my students (if only their feigned engagement). That's more difficult now. I must now recalibrate myself with a healthy poverty, so that I can appreciate my challenge and understand the successes of this classroom. I be sure to post them.

A Minute of Personal Reflection (Feel free to skip this post)

2005-06-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

I've now been blogging for just over a month. I continue to learn new things everyday. The blogosphere is absolutely amazing, addictive. I spend a lot of time reading other people's blogs. It would probably behoove me to take some of that time and spend it on my own blog, disciplining myself to have at least one post daily. By the same token, it's stunning how many people are unfamiliar with blogging (like I was 3 months ago). As I've mentioned several times, blogging will be a key component of the intermediate composition course I teach in the fall. As I have thought about how I might develop this course, several times it has become clear to me that most people either don't know what blogging is, or know only very loosely. So, I often find myself trying to provide a definition that doesnt sell the medium short. Many people assume that blogging is no more that journaling and think the blogophere consists of a bunch of self-indulgent, tech-geeks who have esoteric conversations, which is obviously far from the truth. One month of blogging has challenged me in many ways. Everyday I learn several new things, and my blog is constantly recording these discoveries. That's exciting.

My blog, to this point, has been pretty academic. I guess that's to be expected since my interest in blogging is largely academic. I'm interested in the rhetoric of blogging and its possibilities for the writing classroom. I was initially intrigued by blogging because I was puzzled about it--as a genre. Specifically, the audience factor intrigues me. Most people treat their blog like a journal--a record of personal sentiments. But, unlike a journal, there is a very real audience that writers invariably keep in mind--even if they posit, directly or indirectly, the ostensible inconsequentiality (is that a word?) of the audience, perhaps by saying something like "(feel free to skip this post)" in the title of the blogpost. The reality is that the audience for a weblog complicates "journaling" significantly.

So, academic interests were a catalyst, but now my goal is to expand my blog--to make it a better blog--more representative of myself, my life outside academia, what little there might be. I feel like my blog has been a bit sterile up to this point. Because I have limited myself to "serious posts" rather that "personal posts" (thats a distinction I'm making), I have had trouble posting everyday. But, posting everyday is my goal from here on. I need not wait for something quirky to occur to me, but rather I need to discipline myself to blog my life as it comes to me.

Freakonomics

2005-06-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

Finished Freakonomics. Great read! Excellent examples of provocative research questions and compelling conclusions about some of life's interesting minutiae. Even better, it's as accessible as it is interesting. No need to be interested in economics to appreciate it. Just great reading. Here's the gist of the book, in my opinion: (This quote is taken from the beginning of chapter three, Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live with Their Moms?)

"The first trick of asking questions is to determine if your question is a good one. Just because a question has never been asked does not make it good. Smart people have been asking questions for quite a few centuries now, so many of the questions that havent been asked are bound to yield uninteresting answers.

"But if you can question something that people really care about and find an answer that might surprise them--that is, if you can overturn the conventional wisdom--then you may have some luck"

Levitt claims that this book does not have a unifying theme--that it is, rather, a hodge-podge of interesting research from a rogue economist. However, after reading the book, it seems to me that it does have a unifying theme--the phenomenon of conventional wisdom. So many of the best parts of this book are when Levitt deals directly with our preconceived notions of the way the world works, the conventional wisdom of society that is often not so wise.

This books is filled with interesting information that made me think about why society might value certain things. Sometimes our values and conventional wisdsom spawns from marketing ploys. Take Listerine for example, which Levitt talks about on p. 91.

"Advertising too is a brilliant tool for creating conventional wisdom. Listerine, for instance, was invented in the nineteenth century as a powerful surgical antiseptic. It was later sold, in distilled form, as a floor cleaner and a cure for gonorrhea. But it wasnt a runaway success until the 1920's, when it was pitched as a solution for "chronic halitosis"--a thn obscure term for bad breath." To summarize, Levitt argues that it was listerine, not human nature, norm, or custom that made us so conscious of bad breath.

Here are the other chapter titles in Freakonomics:

What do Schoolteachers and Sumo Wrestlers Have in Common?
(no, this is not about a school teacher obesity epidemic)
How is the Ku Klux Klan like a Group of Real-Estate Agents
(I'll never trust a real estate agent again. The bastards. Check out Dan Janal's blog for more detailed highlights and commentary about this chapter)
Where have all the criminals gone?
(Crime went down in the 1990's. Is it a direct result of legalized abortion?)
What Make's a Perfect Parent
(Levitt gives several examples of conventional wisdom run amuck here)
Would Roshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet
(Ever wondered about why black and white people have such different tastes for child-naming?
Even heard heard the urban legends about the kids named OrangeJello, LemonJellow, and
Shithead--very interesting chapter)

Well, I've said enough. This book is worth buying.

Back in School

2005-06-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Not sure what I want to say here, but I want to record my thoughts as go through this new teaching experience... As I mentioned a few posts ago, I'm teaching English for Upward Bound this summer. UB is a summer program for "disadvantaged" students that meet certain demographic criteria. This is my first experience with high school age students, and I'm nervous. I've been looking forward to the challenge and curious to compare high school teaching to college teaching. Today went pretty well, though the age difference between high school and college students is clear. Observing my class today made me flash back to a time when being cool was important. That last sentence sounds condescending. I guess, afterall, the "adult" world has the same amount of social baggage, just different. Most of us dont worry a lot about the kind of pop culture that teens do. Our environment changes and our values take new shapes. But most of us are still afflicted by concern for what other people think about us, and we want people to like us and think what we do is important, worthwhile. I guess the currency of cool is an amorphous (but maybe ever-present) thing. No longer do we care only about popularity, social groups and the like, but rather careers, accomplishments, money and other things enter the picture. But, thank God the shallow social values of high school last only four years--and, that people dont create their identity once and for all in high school. It's an awkward time. Maybe this is pressing on me because my 10yr high school reunion is this summer, and it feels really odd to think about socializing again with these groups of people. High school was a time when, regardless of what people really think, (like my students were today) I was so self-conscious about everything. Uncontrollably, some of those feelings start to come back when I think about reentering a social group formed by a highschool. Like everyone, I've aged ten years and changed alot, but as far as everyone else knows, I'm the same guy. Are people assumptive like that? Or, is it more likely that everyone feels this way--that everyone is nervous about how they might be subsumed by their old adolesent self?

Anyway, I told my class that I wouldnt tell anyone, but I could see through their facade of coolness. I am ten to fifteen years older than them. I dont understand half their lingo. And, lots of their culture is alien to me. Nevertheless, the whole experience seemed very reminiscent of my highschool experieince, but I was impressed by the initiative that they had already taken to put themselves in a position to succeed.

Perhaps this newness will wear off soon, and they will just become "damn kids." Diatribes are much more fun, I'll admit. But I hope this six weeks will be as rewarding as it seems like it could be.

This is really funny.....check it out...

2005-06-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

"The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition."

Here's a couple of my favorites:

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Here's the complete list

Wired 13.02: Revenge of the Right Brain

2005-06-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Wired 13.02: Revenge of the Right Brain

I learned about this article from Instapundit. I agree, it is an excellent article! I will probably have my students read it as I try to sell blogging to them.

Is Persuasion Dead? - New York Times

2005-06-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

Is Persuasion Dead? - New York Times

Here's a really great article by Matt Miller. As the title suggests, he discusses the moribund state of rhetoric in the United States today. We have a red state, blue state mentality, and people rarely meet to truly hear each other out. This is a problem that we should work to correct. I recommend reading the whole article because he raises several interesting points. His conclusion, is particularly good:

The resurrection of persuasion will not be easy. Politicians who've learned to survive in an unforgiving environment may not feel safe with a less scripted style. Mass media outlets where heat has always sold more than light may not believe that creatively engaging on substance can expand their audience. But if you believe that meeting our collective challenges requires greater collective understanding, we've got to persuade these folks to try....In the meantime, like Sisyphus, those who seek a better public life have to keep rolling the rock uphill. If you've read this far, maybe you're up for the climb, too.

Miller doesnt talk about blogging, but I cant help reading through the lens of a blogger, especially after reading Hugh Hewitt's newest book, Blog : Understanding the Information Reformation That's Changing Your World. I think this article has striking implications for me as a writing teacher and as a student of rhetoric.

Back to work

2005-06-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

For the next six weeks, I will be teaching English to 10th, 11th, and 12th graders through an Upward Bound program at a local junior college. Although, I am virtually certified as secondary English teacher, I've never actually taught high school. I've taught a few lessons as an aide when working on my certification, and I've taught somewhere between 15 and 20 freshman and sophomore college classes; that's where my opportunities have been. So, this will most definitely be a challenge. I'm not sure exactly what to expect, since I've been given very little direction. Upward Bound is a program for highschool students that are potential first generation college students. Students must apply to the program, and it sounds like a really interesting and potentially rewarding opportunity. At this point, I havent planned out exactly what will make up the substance of the course. In my interview, the program emphasized test prep, both SAT and TAKS (Texas' mandatory standardized test that everyone freaks out about now that it must be passed before advancing to the next level or graduating. I experienced anxious and apoplectic parents first hand when I was Education Director at Sylvan Learning Center). So, I will devote part of the course to test taking, focusing partly on developing the knack of giving the test graders what they want in 25 minute essays, of course emphasizing always that there is a vast difference between good quality writing and writing a "good" (read: contrived, formulaic, and trite, but criteria matching) exam essay that will recieve the desired score. Seriously, I'm not a cynic, but I do believe that assessing one's writing skills based on what they can produce 25 minutes is deeply flawed. Implicitly, such an exercise priviledges the linear thinkers and devalues content. I guess, here, I'm speaking specifically about the new SAT writing. I'm not sure about the logistics for TAKS, but I am sure that the test graders are looking for a very specific product--have an ideal in mind--that student writing will be measured against. Speed and conformity are the premiums. So, I will probably teach a formula to some degree, and practice a patterned approach; I think I do them a disservice if I dont, since they should be abreast of the realities of test grading. The may learn less about the creativity and recursive process involved in generating good writing, but they will be prepared to achieve highly on standardized tests that seek to quantify them. Am I a sell out for my summer job? Maybe so. But maybe not; I have to keep in mind that this is a six week program that should give students a leg up on future challenges. I'm not trying teaching them everything there is to know about writing or even start at square one. I will be teaching them to write for one or two very specific rhetoric situations.

Other than test prep, I'm not sure what else I'll do. I want at least half of the course to have a more extra-curricular feel. So, if anyone has any ideas, I'd be grateful to hear them. I do want to work with literature some, but I'm not sure yet what would be best. I dont want to give a lot of homework, so that might rule out novels, unless I can find one that is relatively short and interesting. I've been thinking lately about Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery", a short story that's just horrid enough to stimulate some class discussion. As I do in Freshman Comp., I'm sure I'll work some with pop. culture, analyzing public discourse, such as ads, TV, websites, etc. Also, I'd love to teach argument through movie reviews, which subject-wise might be more appealing to these TV generation students (as if I dont watch an absurd amount of TV.

So, that's where I am now. Over the weekend, I've got to hammer these things out, creating syllabi, securing materials, etc. Damn. I'll likely blog about this experience over the next six weeks, since I think that curriculum is perhaps only a small part of what will be on my mind as I teach my first highschoolers. I welcome any ideas, encouragement, or warnings.

Another good quote about blogging

2005-06-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

Roger L. Simon: Hinderaker Cuts to the Chase

I'll echo Roger Simon here, again. A thought well said by John Hinderaker:

I've often asked myself what makes the blogosphere worthwhile. Certainly a big part of the answer is that the world is full of smart people, a large majority of whom didn't go to journalism school and don't work for newspapers or magazines. One of the basic things blogs do is give those people a voice.

What makes the news

2005-05-31T17:21:00.000-07:00

John Tierney: Bombs bursting on air

An excellent article by John Tierney. In other posts, I've wondered about the principle of selectivity that creates an unavoidable bias in any news reporting. The choice of what is and is not news is, indeed, a rhetorical standpoint; it implicitly makes claims about what's important and should be recognized. Watch any six o'clock news report and its clear that crime is news--it always leads, and probably accounts for over fifty percent of the docket of news. Why is this? Why do we value the negative more than the positive or interesting? Is it a public service or disservice. Tierney has some interesting thoughts.

Should I tip?

2005-05-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

What the hell is the purpose of tipping?

Now, really, I'm not cheap. Not a penny-pincher, conservative spender, or, hell, even what one could call "fiscally sound." I have no problems spending money. I should be much more financially conservative (especially since I'm in education--destined to be poor for the long haul). Nevertheless, I've had a certain diatribe welling-up in me for a few days. The topic? the American custom of tipping. Specifically, who should be tipped? what is/are tip-worthy behaviors/occupations? etc.

Over the weekend, my wife, son and I drove through a chicken joint. At this particular establishment, the help chooses to come out to your car to take your order rather than utilize their intercom on the drive up menu. It's really pretty annoying, actually. They always try to memorize the order. If you arent ready to order when they get to your car, they will stand very still, watching you until you make your decision. Makes me nervous.

Nevertheless, is coming to your car tip-worthy job performance? Should it morph a minimum wage job into a much higher paying job? Let's see... If the employee at the chicken place fills five orders per hour and recieves a two dollar tip from each customer, suddenly a mimimum wage job becomes a fifteen-twenty dollar per hour gig--quickly approaching the professional salary of a public school teacher.

Additionally, is there too much of a sense of entitlement when it comes to tipping? If (say) a waiter does an adequate job--what's expected (i.e. takes my order, brings my food, refills my drink, brings my check)--does he or she deserve a tip? Or, do we give tips for superior service. Might this be analogous to teaching: Should a A mean "met the basic criteria" or "exceeded the criteria--a superior performance." To me, giving A's for adequacy amounts to a hideous devaluation of the performances that are indeed truly superior. By the same token, if all people in the service profession are tipped, do we devalue good customer service?

I understand that many waiters are paid barely over two dollars an hour, and they rely on tips for fair compensation. However, is it fair to make make compensation the responsibility of the consumer? Or, better yet, why should I feel responsible to pay someone else's employees? Wouldnt it be better if the employers paid fairly and tipping we upheld as a deserved bonus?

Before you make angry comments, please understand that I always tip waiters, pizza deliverers and a handful of other (seemingly arbitrary) occupations. It just annoys me that I dont feel free to withhold a tip when service is lacking. And, I'm confused about this generous American custom that seems to be growing more inclusive. The employee at the chicken place made me feel like a cheap bastard because I didnt bonus her a few bucks for walking to the car.

I looked around the web for anyone else who had a diatribe on American tipping practices. Didnt have much luck, but I did find a conversation at the link below that points out just how American this "tip-everyone-who-expects-it-or-feel-like-a-stingy-ass" practice is.
Adventure Forums - Question to Americans: Tipping

Fair and Balanced?

2005-05-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Roger Simon raises an important question: What does fair and balanced look like?. I think this is a great question. Fox News claims to be fair and balanced--quite apart from the "liberal media." Bloggers, sometimes too, claim to offer a more fair and balanced perspectives--an antithesis to big journalism. However, just how "fairness" and "balance" is accomplished is nebulous and problematic I think, and I applaud Simon for bringing it up. This is a topic that others are discussing as well, like Jay Rosen who recently posed similar questions: Is the press, properly understood, a political animal? If so, what kind of politics should it have? How do we know if the press has got the politics part right?
However, I wonder if the question might be even better articulated. Specifically, if "fair and balanced" is used to mean "unbiased in every way", I have serious doubts about whether it is feasible or even desirable. Reporting is always replete with biases I think. These biases may not be obvious or egregious, but there is always, at least, a principle of selectivity. Is there not? Glenn Reynolds makes reference to this artcle today, which I think says a lot to this end. To call one story "news" and neglect another story is an inescapable bias. (The same goes for History, I think) I see no other choice but to acknowledge these biases, making them explicit in our writing.

Might it be more appropriate to ask what does responsible journalism look like, despite inevitable bias that any thinking individual is bound to have? I think this question is preferable to one that upholds some pipe dream of complete objectivity as the ideal. I think feigned objectivity is a disservice to any journalism. On the other hand, I think blogging (New Media) is an excellent step in the right direction of casting off this ostensible objectivety and celebrating the individual writer's viewpoint.

Recent Reading

2005-05-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

For anyone, like me, who is still wondering just exactly what blogging is--it's purposes, its consequences, it potential--I would definitely recommend Hugh Hewitt's most recent book Blog: Understanding the Information Reformation that's Changing our World. Knowing little, but very curious, about the blogosphere I was initially attracted to Hewitt's book because it is a 2005 publication. Several other books I found were from years past, and with the practice and popularity of blogging spreading like wildfire, I hypothesized that Hewitt's perspective might have something to offer that other's might not. Indeed, I was impressed from the outset; not only does Hewitt provide a great deal of context for the emergence of the blogosphere, but he also demonstrates important and recent manifestations of this new media, including Trent Lott's and Dan Rather's debacle, which was almost solely wrought by bloggers. Additionally, Hewitt acquaints his reader with a few dozen blogs that have the most traffic, and, in his opinion, represent the practice of blogging quite well. I continue to add links to my blog that Hewitt has introduced me to. Finally, Hewitt speculates about the enormous potential for blogging in business and marketing. I came away from this book disappointed that it has taken me this long to start blogging but excited about the potential that blogging has for me, personally and pedagogically. This book is a informative, entertaining, and thought provoking read, and one need not be interested, like me, in blogging for academic reasons to enjoy it.

Faith Blogs

2005-05-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

I really like the idea of faith blogs. Here, again, I think that the blogging medium allows people to express themselves with genuine, pensive voice, free of many of the constraints that accompany other rhetorical situations. When it comes to blogging about issues of faith, I have found many posts refreshing--different from much of the hackneyed, cliche-ridden religious rhetoric that I am used to hearing on Sunday morning. I'm not sure exactly why this is; it may be me. That is, I may engage better as a reader than a listener. On the other hand, when someone blogs, there seems to be a much more autonomous voice (as opposed to--say--a pastor speaking from a pulpit of a church that ascribes to an articulated set of beliefs.) Bloggers, it seems, need not be the mouthpiece for anyone but themselves. Blogs are a place to write through ideas and seek intellectual engagement. I find it easier to listen to the individual rather than the mouthpiece.

Particularly, I enjoyed Mark Roberts' most recent post, which seemed to be open minded, candid, and humble. Though he cited scripture, he didnt seem "preachy."

A couple of quotes that really appealled to me...

"I do believe that when we who deeply value truth cannot recognize our own limitations in knowing that truth, when we regard ourselves as inerrant purveyors of divine truth, then we run the risk of being snagged by "the dark side" of arrogance and idolatry."

"...we must also recognize that we will never perceive absolute truth with absolute accuracy this side of heaven. Thus we take the truth seriously without taking ourselves too seriously. We affirm God's truth passionately, but always with humility.

A Great Idea!!

2005-05-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Teach students to communicate!

I'm so proud...

2005-05-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

I think attaching this picture to my name gives me instant credibility.

Just goes to show, you never know what you'll find when you google your name. Little did I know what big shoes I had to fill. You can read more about this at The Groovy Pad.

A slightly out of context quote that I like a lot

2005-05-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

As I have said before, I am fascinated by blogging, and, as a writing teacher, I am excited by ways I might use blogging in the classroom to teach rhetorical principles. With that in mind, here's a quote that really speaks to me (used in Glenn Reynolds recent article entitled Big Media on the Run)

...[for bloggers]there's no pedestal to jump right on top of and have an instant readership as there is when you're hired on by mainstream media. We only have the readership we can attract with the strength of our own writing. We have to build that readership and keep it with constant writing. No one would ever be in a position to invoke a rule and fire us. It's all a matter of whether the readers stay or go. In a sense, we're constantly getting hired and fired in tiny increments as individuals decide whether or not to click to our sites one more time. We're living on the edge.

Not to Dwell, But...

2005-05-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

I've listened to Sports Radio for probably half an hour today, driving from school to back and running various errands. Le Batard's article was indeed provocative, receiving mostly negative attention from the shock jocks I've heard. Most recently, I heard Eric Casillias, a nationally syndicated host on ESPN radio, berate Le Batard for "irresponsible journalism." In an interview earlier in the day, Le Betard asserted that he, in fact, has no problem with Nash winning the MVP, and he was merely "posing a question": How much does race have to do with Nash's victory over Shaq--a little, a lot, or none at all. Casillias berated Le Batard for this "cop-out" (later in the day, not in the interview which was actually with an earlier host). Casillias obviously feels that a question for the sake of a question is irresponble; an individual has a responsibility to assert an opinion and stand behind it, or to not brooch the subject.

I'm not sure I agree with completely, though my thinking has been complicated a bit. As an educator, I think it is important to ask questions. As I asserted in my previous post, I think that certain questions can make us aware of certain things and help us further articulate understanding. So, after much weighing and considering (and a gut reaction that wanted also to berate Le Batard), I think I came to appreciate Le Batard's question.

That being said, I think Casillias does make some good points. Among them, Le Batard writes for the Miami Herald. It's likely that he's defending his guy who lost by a slight margin--Shaq. Considering this, I think I agree that Le Batard's question was NOT "objective" like he claim. Quite the contrary, I think it was definitely rhetorical; that is, just by asking the question, Le Betard makes an implicit argument that extraneous factors or ulterior motives might have played a role in Nash's victory. Le Batard's claims of objectivety and mere question-posing are weak. Even if it was subconscious I think he had a viewpoint and, maybe, and agenda. Still, though, I think the question is valuable because all have unrealized factors that play into our consciousnesses and constructs of reality. If Le Batard's questions bring the implicit explicit, in any way, I think it's good journalism, albeit with a weak explanation.

Questions of Value: Considering Dan Le Batard's Article on the MVP

2005-05-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

How much of this has to do with race?

A lot?

A little?

Or ''zero,'' as Miami Heat president Pat Riley said before the little white guy beat the big black guy for MVP?

I don't pretend to know these answers. There is no good way to do these measurements with science or math. And I, too, am tired of seeing racism thrown like a Molotov cocktail into discussions where racism doesn't exist.

But don't you have to ask these questions when confronted with something unprecedented?

Or do we just continue laughing and making noise at our playoff cocktail party while ignoring the pinkish elephant standing in the middle of the room in a Nash jersey?

Dan Le Batard's article got me thinking. Not just about race and how much residual racism might still exist in the very public and celebrated venues of culture--an uncomfortable and disconcerting subject--but more pragmatically, I guess. Specifically, I started wondering how we should adjudicate value in general--by relative impact or through some sort of "objective" evaluative system that claim to be able to assess value in an analytical vacuum.

The debates are firing up again on sports radio like they do every time an MVP is doled out. Familiar questions: How can we say player A is more valuable than player B when A is clearly more talented? And the familiar rebuttal: It's not about skill, it's about relative worth in a given situation or what kind of impact a player has; how much worse the team would be if the player were not there.
As I think about Shaq and Nash, both have clearly had an incredible impact, and the margin for Nash's winning of the award was quite small. I guess this leads me back around to Le Batard's question. Why was Nash, in the end, victorious? Is it that we expect Shaq to be a contender for that award and Nash is an anomaly, or underdog that we have a natural affinity for? Does Nash's whiteness factor in here? In a league that is predominately black, does a white contender have an unfair advantage because he will inevitably be noticed more due to his implicit irregularity? Maybe. Ultimately, these are questions that are provocative, and ones that I dont have answers to. And, I think, it's impossible to say for sure, since there's no way to quantify such speculation or motivations. Value is, by nature, subjective: adjudicating awards such as MVPs are ultimately wrapped up in the way we conceptualize value. Should it be determined by decided upon community values, or an honest composite of individual values, replete with individual biases, inclinations, and constructs of reality. In most opinions, a racial bias is egregious, a reprehensible factor in determining anything. Some, like Le Batard, however, ask if racism might be unconsciously influencing our valuation. If it is, it's sad, and, for myself, I hope that I am not plagued by such tacit factors. Whether or not racism pushed Nash ahead of Shaq, I think Le Betard is right to ask such questions. I think this kind of provocative journalism makes us ultimately question and search our own assumptions. It may offend us, annoy us, or makes us downright livid, but it makes us aware. If we are conscious enough to articulate why Nash should win MVP for factors other than that he is a little white guy in a big black guy's league, I think such awareness makes us more vigilant. I also think that sometimes such uncomfortable questions can make us realize things about ourselves that we had previously been unaware of.

I just finished grading a stack of Freshman essays: a task that, sometimes uncomfortably, wrapped up in value. More specifically, in such tasks I not only must determine value, but justify it as well. Through grading hundreds of freshman essays, I've learned that it is, indeed, much more satisfying to consider context, impact, learning curve, process etc. than how well something measures up to some transparent, predetermined ideal that makes me look at texts in a vacuum. When I force myself to consider the relative merits of each text individually (with context, personality, effort and all) I find the grading process much more comfortable and satisfying. I often learn things about my own tacit systems of value--things that I didnt know about before.

Why Blog?

2005-05-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

Blogging seems to be a versatile and relevant medium for personal writing, argument, reflection, social participation and action. As a composition teachers I am constantly looking for new ways to sell writing as a worthwhile and engaging endeavor. I think blogging might enhance my intermdiate composition classroom next semester. I know that a few instructors (that I know of, rather than know personally) have had success with blogging in the classroom. Blogging can certainly serve as an online journal, but I also think that it might have some more complex offerings for the writing classroom. The most palpable problem of the composition classroom, I think, is that writing scenarios are staged, contrived, and mostly irrelevant to students. No matter how hard I work in developing a unit or prompt, it still seems quite artificial to students. Partly the academic setting, partly student apathy. I dont know if blogging can be a savior in this regard--it probably wont be. However, in my opinion, the one element that must be present for some one to improve their writing is...caring. If students arent invested in improving writing, they won't--no matter how good or thoughtful units in a comp class are. Blogging seems to add a fresh authenticity to learning scenarios. Though I can use blogs pedagogically, students can simultaneosly appropriate them to their own ends. Blogging makes finished writing, published writing. Blogging also serves multiple ends and writing types. Blogging allows--necessitates--students to enter a community, to have a renewed conception of audience. Even a mild participation in the blogosphere will allow students to be more socially conscious. And, as it has for me, it will open up a whole new world that seems to be more relevant than scholarship confined to bleach white paper and black ink.

So, my first, and most overt, intention for this blog is simply to theorize blogging. What is it? What are the conventions of the genre? How can/should it be used in education? What does it offer that socially responsible educators should not neglect in the twenty first century? Is it the latest fad or has/will it revolutionize/change communities/communication for years to come?

Perhaps these are naive or yesterday's questions? Maybe. Admittedly, I have only recently become aware of blogging. I dont think I'm alone. Who's ghettoized or on the fringes in twenty-first century America--the bloggers or the non-bloggers?

For those of you who might come across this blog, help me out. I want to collect a list of great blogs, a variety of blogs, articles on blogging. That being said, I dont want to limit this blog to my pedagogical concerns. Thats only my jumping off point. Like I said in my previous post, it's exciting to represent yourself online, to construct a reflexive and reflective identity.

Starting A Blog: I Just Wanna Type Something...

2005-05-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

The Blogosphere is immense. I'm a newcomer. Completely fascinated. The options, the decisions, the representation--the ways I might construct an e-identity seem endless. Right now I have nothing--a blank slate. If you dare, watch this blog arise, take form...or die of utter neglect.